


100 Ways to Say I Hate You

by bluelovesstuff



Category: Cow Chop, The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Occasional OOCness, Tumblr Prompt, this really is a crack fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-28 07:46:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 31,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5083648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelovesstuff/pseuds/bluelovesstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off <a href="http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you">this</a> post or 100 fictional phrases (chapters) that show the transition from the platonic, slightly amorous, and finally romantic relationship of James and Aleksandr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Pull Over. Let me drive for a while."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Follow My Tumblr](http://tropicalaleks.tumblr.com/)

  1. _“Pull over. Let me drive for a while.”_




 

The melody of the radio playing softly in the background soothed him. The layers of snow on the road, Aleks’ hands lightly gripping the steering wheel, and the jingling of Aleks’ keys the only things on his mind.

 

They had been driving for five hours on the return road trip from San Francisco, California back to Little Rock, Colorado. Groups of two, three, or four sat in each car. Jordan, Dex, Dan, and Aron in the car directly in front of them, while Spencer, Joe, and Stefani were leading them along the dark highway.

 

All exhausted from shenanigans and lack of sleep in general, everyone was truly craving the warmth of their own beds and barely sustained the ability to drive solidly on the road. Jordan himself had even given the group a groggy walkie-talkie signal to halt their misery momentarily to stop at the nearest cafe to regenerate any energy that they may have left with caffeine.

 

Aleks, at the time, was thoroughly buzzing from the sugar of the two Red Bulls that he had downed just half an hour earlier, waving James off when the older offered to drive for the next set of hours.

 

With his own seat reclined and a blanket on his lap, it was easy for James to shut his eyes to take a quick nap while the other drove. He had evidently just woken up from about a two hour slumber, for the clock read _8:45 PM_ and he had fallen asleep at half past six.

 

Aleks, apparently, hadn’t noticed his waking and had his eyes still fixed Spencer’s rental and the road ahead of them. At this point, with the brunet’s slumped shoulders and a side that leaned on the side of the car door, James was beginning to notice the precedent exhaustion in the younger’s eyes.

 

He cleared his throat and lowered the volume of the ‘ _Top 20 Countdown_ ’ that had been turned up since he had fallen asleep, no doubt by Aleks who aimed to keep himself awake by listening to _Problem_ by Ariana Grande herself, “You tired?”

 

Aleks turned his eyes, blinking repeatedly before noticeably exhaling and puffing out his chest, “No, I’m good.”

 

James never understood why Aleks was so fucking prideful sometimes. At some moments, the brunet appeared roguish and not holding an ounce of shame at his actions or words, then the next moment he’d be attempting to act overly valiant and blatantly ‘macho’.

 

James slightly believed this was caused by him attempting to replace the actuality of him being unable to grow facial hair properly at the age of twenty-three, but he would never say it in a tone that read anything but teasing.

 

James gave him a look and Aleks’ firm line that he had pressed onto his lips fell as James nodded to the shoulder of the road, “Look, _pull over. Let me drive for a while_ , Aleks.”

 

Aleks gave him a final look of determination as he sat up straight, eyes forcefully widening as if attempting to show the older that he was fit to drive, “I’m fine, go back to sleep.”

 

James gave him another look, this time sitting up and unreclining his seat. Taking the walkie-talkie in his hand before Aleks could snatch it from its place in one of the cup holders, he placed the speaker to his lips and pressed the call button, “Stubborn asshole, Aleksandr, over here is going to pull over so I can drive for the rest of the way.”

 

Aleks rolled his eyes, giving an over exaggerated huff at Jordan and Stefani’s soft and laughter filled replies, “ _Fuck you guys_ , I’m _fine._ ”

 

He nonetheless pulled over, James setting the blanket and pillow on the dash in front of him as he climbed out of the car and exchanged seats with the brunet. With both doors shut and seat belts clicked, James switched on the younger’s seat heater and reached over to recline the chair for him.

 

Aleks remained silent as James switched the car into drive and pulled back onto the highway, a single hand on the wheel as he caught up with the line of vehicles. James smirked as Aleks mumbled a request for a cough drop, something that James diligently kept on him at all times during the winter season.

 

“Thanks,” Aleks mumbled in reply, shuffling into a comfortable position under James’ fleece and pillow.


	2. "It reminded me of you."

2. _“It reminded me of you.”_

 

It’s the laughable fact that James and himself both need housing and roommates to help with rent that makes Aleks so hesitant of the entire idea. It’s too _perfect_ for them to rent a house together with the selling of the stapled Creature House and the dire need of a roommate from Aleks’ own end.

 

With boxes piled throughout the memory filled home, Aleks climbed up the stairs and down the hall to where the older’s room was located, pushing open the door to see James sprawled out on the foot of his bed with his phone in hand.

 

James’ eyes glanced up to the brunet’s figure in the doorway, a small smile taking over his face as he gestured for him to come in, “Well idiot, don’t just fucking stand there. Come here, I have something to show you.”

 

Aleks’ brow furrowed slightly at the odd mildly enthusiastic request, but nonetheless stepped into the room and made his way to peer over the other’s shoulder and at his phone’s screen.

 

James seemed to be scrolling through a real estate agent’s page with local listings, “I remembered you saying that you wanted a separate guest bedroom for the downstairs for when people come over, right? So, I called this chick, really an awful woman that you’d probably hate, and she found this house-”

 

Aleks’ eyes widened at the dark haired’s spewing mouth, “Whoa, _whoa_ ,” James’ eyes flickered up at him, appearing slightly irritated at the interruption, “When did I exactly _agree_ to sharing a home with you?”

 

James’ mouth opened, only for him to close it and force him to sit up to fully face the younger, “Well, _Aleksandr_ , I simply assumed that you would like the arrangement considering your current home’s rent is staggering and you told me, I don’t know, what your qualifications for your fucking dream home would be.”

 

Aleks stared at him for a moment before rolling his eyes and sighing in defeat at the man’s point. His current place was just too large and costly for him to keep up by himself and to be completely honest, he was looking for a change. He watched as James nodded in satisfaction at his apparent visual realization.

 

Aleks crossed his arms and swallowed, gesturing to the phone, “You were saying?” He mumbled nonchalantly.

 

James gave the brunet one of his acclaimed smirks, “I was saying how this house had a separate downstairs bedroom, along with two other bedrooms upstairs and rooms for our offices. _It_ kinda _reminded me of you_ and it seemed like something you’d like.”

 

Aleks’ eyes scanned over the images of the house, his brow raised as he pointed to the front lawn, “Does the neighborhood have sidewalks,” He paused at James’ confused expression, “You know, for Ein, of course.”

 

James smiled.


	3. “No, no, it’s my treat.”

3. _“No, no, it’s my treat.”_

 

James grasps the concept of allowing others to pay for dinner; he encourages it even. The background of the restaurant is humming with other tables’ conversations and the simple white clothed and lit candle in the center of them all couldn’t be more simple and elegant at the same time.

 

But, when this ‘other’ is a brunet with a shit smirk on his face and a credit card slipped into the bill all because James had forgotten, of all things when going out to dinner with the group, his wallet. They usually, ‘they’ consisting tonight of himself, Jordan, Aleks, and Dan, split the bill equally or if someone is feeling generous, they will pay the entire bill for the whole group of them.

 

Aleks had already been teasing James about his terrible spending habits and, truth be told, James wasn’t ashamed of it. Sure, he would go ranting about not spending a dime one second and then the next order some hundred dollar piece of junk for the office the next, but _hey_ his ‘seven-point-seven million’ allowed him to have that breathing room in the bank balance department.

 

So when they left the restaurant and went to their separate cars, James being forced to tag along with the brunet because of their current living space arrangements, he all but grumbled as Aleks kept that shit smirk the entire drive home.

 

James slammed the car door when they reached home and effectively threw Ein the mouthwatering toy of one of Aleks’ precious _Vans_ that were set by the door when he entered the house’s entryway. To his delight a  moment later, when he was tucked away in his room behind a locked door and the volume of his stereo, he heard a loud screech as the front door swung shut.

 

“ _Ein? Oh my god- James, what the actual fuck is your dog doing with my shoe?_ ” There was the sound of a struggle and the sound of Ein’s dog tag clinging around downstairs, “ _I hate you so much, James! Those were new!_ ”

 

James grinned and went on to edit a video before letting Ein into his bedroom to curl up onto his bed.   

 

* * *

 

James usually didn’t feel guilty for little things. He would shrug off small problems here and there and would carry on; always moving forward.

 

When he saw Aleks pouting the next morning beside the front door with a pair of muddy _Nikes_ that he usually only wore for running, he instantly felt guilty. Aleks promptly ignored the older and continued to drive the two of them to the office; his moody attitude floating around him the remainder of the day.

 

As the two men were walking out of the office, Aleks one step behind the older as they exited the building, James just barely remembered that they were out of milk and coffee creamer in the fridge. He brow frowned at the thought of Aleks not having that stupid cereal and a cup of his sugary-sweet oil the next morning.

 

As they climbed into the car, James managed to speak the first words to the younger of that entire day, “ _Hey asshole_ , we need milk and creamer before we head home.”

 

Aleks’ eyes flickered over to him and James swore he rolled his eyes before stuttering his car to life and replying, “Why should you care?”

 

It was James’ turn to roll his eyes immaturely, “Because you’ll be even more fucking cranky in the morning without them.”

 

Aleks leaned back into his seat, continuing on their usual route home before making a sharp turn into a local supermarket. Parking the car, he didn’t question whether the older wanted to remain in the car as he quickly pulled the keys out of the ignition and stuffed his hands into his pockets to silently wait for the other to follow suit.

 

James pulled his hood over his head as they entered the store, following the smaller as he made a beeline to the creamer and milk isle. With milk in hand and creamer in the other, Aleks maneuvered around James, proceeding to the empty check-out line where the cashier smiled a little too enthusiastically at them.

 

“I hope you two had a nice time shopping with us tonight. It’ll be $6.47, sir.”

 

Aleks reached into his pocket, brow furrowing as he pulled out only his phone. He then checked his back pockets, obviously confused and unaware of the misplacing of his wallet. The cashier smiled understandingly at the younger of the two, his gaze now focused on James oddly as his smile unwaveringly remained.

 

James pulled out his own wallet, handing the cashier a ten before eyeing Aleks’ bitter and unpleased expression. The cashier handed Aleks the single bag of groceries and handed James his change, the two walking out of the store in silence as James slipped the money back into his pocket.

 

Once in the car, James sighed and watched as Aleks’ hand remained on the ignition, “I’m sorry for letting Ein chew up your sneakers.”

 

Aleks shrugged, hand falling from the ignition, “It’s no big deal.”

 

James shook his head, “ _No_ , you have some weird attachment to those shoes and ordered them online, it was a big deal,” he paused and gestured to the groceries, “I would _like_ to think that getting you your sustenance would repay you for that, but it don’t think it will.”

 

Aleks raised a brow and James continued, “Let’s go get some coffee or shit at one of those cafés that Aron and you always go to, okay? I’ll get you one of those pieces of pie that you always used to bring to the old house.”

 

Aleks made a face of unsureness, “Are we going to fight over the bill this time?”

 

James shook his head and laughed softly, “ _No, no, it’s my treat._ I was an asshole.”

 

Aleks nodded and this made James laugh even more, buckling his seat belt as Aleks pulled out of the parking lot. Aleks shifted his gaze over to the dark haired man as he drove down the road to the familiar café and his lip curled up in a secret smile as James muttered something about posting a picture of his sugary drink when they got home that he was planning to purchase.


	4. "Come here. Let me fix it."

4\. “ _Come here. Let me fix it_.”

 

Aleks fumbled with his tie and made a disheveled attempt at tying the fabric around his collar. He let out a groan of frustration with his incapability to do everyday tasks, stormed from his bathroom, and upon checking clock on the nightstand, his eyes widened at the time and he quickly pulled on a pair of nice shoes.

 

While hopping on one leg, attempting to blow a piece of hair from his vision as he tied the shoe, he saw the strolling figure of his newly accustomed roommate, James, walk past his open bedroom door. He had to bit back the 'go away!' that threatened to escape from his mouth as James walked backyards, bag of chips in hand as he grinned mischievously at Aleks’ disheveled appearance.

 

“Are we having trouble there?” He popped a few chips into his mouth, crunching as he continued with the mouthful, “Didn’t you say you made reservations at like- seven?”

 

Aleks turned to make sure the digital clock beside his bed was not deceiving him. No, it was truly six thirty-eight and he was _surely_ going to be late for his date. He couldn't be late. This was their second date and she was so nice and pretty and made him laugh and  _nervous_. He turned to James, pitifully taking a seat on his bed behind him as he carefully unlaced the shoes and placed them on patiently. 

 

James noticed the wrinkled tie on the brunet’s chest, “Isn’t that the tie that you wore for the Anchorman skit?”

 

Aleks rolled his eyes, slipping on his watch as he haphazardly ran a bit of hair styling into the ends of his hair, “Really can’t talk about that right now, James.”

 

James leaned against the door frame, now determined to watch the younger crumble under the pressure of time, “Didn’t Dan have to tie it for you?”

 

Aleks ignored him and dabbed a bit of cologne on himself, rolling up his sleeves neatly and pocketing his phone and wallet as he failed to get past the older standing in the doorway. He narrowed his eyes, really not wanting to argue with the man at the moment but having no choice as James stood solidly in his way.

 

“James, please just, _move_ so I’m not late.”

 

James huffed out a laugh, munching on another chip, “You’re already going to be late.”

 

Aleks felt his temper rising as James simply stared at him and almost let a string of yelling escape his mouth when James suddenly sighed and stepped into the room, setting the closed bag of chips on his dresser.

 

James crossed his arms and gestured to the poorly woven tie, “If you’re going to be late, you might as well look _decent_ ,” he paused, stepping forward and heaving out a breath as Aleks took a step back in caution at the action, “I’m trying to help you, asshole. _Come here_ , idiot. _Let me fix it_ and show you how to tie the damn thing.”

 

The taller of the two reached out, stepping closer to the brunet as he flipped and unknotted the fabric until it was straight and unwrinkled against the button up. Aleks made a face of disbelief in the mirror in front of him as James easily laced the tie into a perfect knot and stepped back. James looked displeased at the brunet's neon yellow watch on his wrist and slipped that off as well; continuing to gesture for the brunet to roll up his sleeves a bit more to show off the vivid tattoo on his forearm. 

 

Aleks didn’t know what to say as James pushed him out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door with his keys. When he reached his chair, he saw that James had somehow snagged the chip bag and was continuing to snack on the item at the front door as he watched him climb into his car.

 

Aleks decided to roll down his window and wave to the man once he pulled out onto the street. James seemed to dismiss the gesture, but smiled at him nonetheless and gave him a subtle thumbs up that quickly turned into the small gesture of his middle finger as he shut the front door behind him.

 

Aleks silently thanked James once he had received a number of flustered compliments from his lovely date about how handsome he looked that ultimately earned him a ticket to a _night stay_ at the woman’s apartment.


	5. "I'll walk you home."

5. _“I’ll walk you home.”_

Aleks isn’t noncommittal. He’s fine with a girlfriend wanting to move in with him, but only after a good length of time. It’s not that he doesn’t like spending time with her, the girl he’s currently dating, but he needs to _recharge_ on his own every now and then. He’s in no way fully introverted, seeing himself as an ambivert, but he needs some time to himself to sit down and play a good game or even take a nice quiet nap _alone_.

 

He grabs his running earbuds from the kitchen counter and straps his iPod around his bicep. He checks the wall clock in the kitchen and sees that it’s _10:45 p.m._ , the perfect time for an evening run to help tire him out for slumber.

 

He pushes his earbuds in as music fills his ears and makes his way out the door, leaving the silent house with Ein curled up on the living room rug. He makes sure to tuck the spare key under the rug just in case the older forgot to bring home his key as he locks the door; noting James is still, no doubt, currently at the office helping Jordan apply some type of noise cancelling foam onto the walls for their neighbors’ sake.

 

As he steps onto the smooth road, he just strolls for a bit, taking in the bitter air with delight as it presses against his arms in his athletic long sleeve and past his fingers. He then starts to run with a jog , only pressing himself into a fast run once he had let his thoughts drift into its usual blankness of feeling his feet push against the concrete.

 

There’s a lengthy dirt path that circles around the entire thin forest area of the neighborhood and he usually only takes it when he’s feeling up to it. He soon reaches it and exhales as he takes a turn onto the path and increases his speed. He passes a small park area, filled with clean sidewalks, benches, and a sand-filled playground. The area around him is faintly lit by radiating orange lampposts and he closes his eyes for a moment as a song’s chorus fills his ears.

 

His mistake of closing his eyes does not go unnoticed by his feet, which happily lodge themselves into a pesky hole in the path, immediately sending Aleks diving onto the unforgiving ground.

 

He lets out a howl of pain as he feels a sharp sting of warmth in his knee. Slowly pushing himself himself up with a hiss of his grating teeth, he sees in the low light of the streetlamps that a sharp rock half-buried into the ground had slashed a medium cut into the sensitive skin of his knee.

 

He pulls the earbuds from his ears, the quietness of the neighborhood reaching his ears as he searches for somewhere to look at this cut. He spots a nearby bench and winces as he pushes himself up fully, limping pathetically over to the bench and extending his leg to fully inspect the wound.

 

He bites his bottom lip and lightly dabs at the cut with his sleeve, the wound burning as the cold air hits the open skin. He blows on the broken skin of his knee, already knowing by how bloody the cut is that the pain will be even worse if he keeps it filled with the dirt from the path.

 

Attempting to wave off the pain by continuing blow and dab on his knee, he guesses that he’s only a twenty minutes or so from the house and that if he keeps pressure off his left leg, then he’d be able to make it home with some effort shortly. Standing up from the bench, he tucks his headphones and iPod into his pocket, suddenly wishing that he had his phone with him to call someone and tell them to come pick him up.

 

He lets out a breath as he takes his first step - _hobble_ \- onto the path. He bares his teeth and only lightly presses his foot onto the ground as he makes his way back onto the normal concrete path. Just as he reaches the clearing where the neighborhood’s street begins to appear, he hears a familiar voice.

 

“Ein, come on, it’s freezing out here. You’ve pissed on every mailbox, trashcan, and fire hydrant in the last ten minutes.” The voice hisses, the clinking of metal that sounds similar to dog tags being heard as a short bark is made a few moments later along with the voice, “What’s gotten into you? Stop sniffing the fucking air like that, you’re freaking me out.”

 

Aleks lets out a breath of relief and shuts his eyes at the man’s voice.

 

He sees Ein turn onto the dirt path not a second later, pulling James along with her on her short leash as she sprints to the brunet’s feet. James seemingly does not realize it is his friend until he’s a few feet away.

 

“Aleks? I’ve been calling you. Where have you been?” He pauses at Aleks’ lifted and shaking leg, Aleks seeing the other's eyes narrow and widen quickly at the sight of the blood still mildly dripping from his leg, “What the hell happened to your knee?”

 

Aleks rolls his eyes, “I left my phone on the charger at home. And I don’t know, I was just fucking running and then the next thing I knew I had cut my knee on this rock in the ground.”

 

James set Ein’s neon leash onto the ground, knowing well that she will follow him back to the house without the need of the attachment, and extends his arm, offering his shoulder to the younger for support, “Here, lean on me. _I’ll_ help _walk you home_ and we can actually take a look at it to see if you need stitches or not.”

 

Aleks begrudgingly moves over to the older’s side, lengthening his arm across James’ shoulders and grasping for a steady hold on him before taking a good step with his right leg with the assistance. He winces and inhales sharply, James immediately placing his left arm around his middle for support to which he reluctantly grips his fingers around the other’s toned, yet soft waist.

 

Aleks sends him a look at the placement of his hand, but finds that James simply focuses on helping him take a step forward once again, as if the action hadn’t bothered him. James tightens his grip on his side and helps him take a step forward again, this time keeping his own steps firm and balanced to make up for Aleks’ disability.

 

He smiles in encouragement, “There you go. Look at you, you stubborn asshole, you’ve got it,” He pauses at Aleks’ soft mumbling of retorts that he had it before James had gotten here to help, “Maybe next time you’ll learn to not go running at eleven o’clock at night.”

 

The following twenty-five minutes are filled with a silence between the two of them, only filled with James’ whistles directed at Ein to catch up with them. It’s late at night and no car or fellow neighbor passes them as they ultimately make it back to the house with the occasional break for Aleks’ leg.

 

James pulls out his keys from his back pocket and unlocks the door, the warmth of the house greeting the two kindly as they step inside. James shuts the door behind them as Ein follows inside shortly after, unhooking her leash from her collar as Aleks flicks on the living room’s lights and takes a seat on the couch to assess the damage of his knee.

 

James disappears shortly, only to return with a hesitant look on his face along with a wet washcloth, a bottle of peroxide, cotton balls, large adhesive bandages, and some gauze. Aleks extends his leg and James crouches on the ground, allowing Aleks to wipe the blood away from his own leg. James then looks up at the brunet for approval as he soaks one of the cotton balls with peroxide and hovers it over the cut. Aleks nods and squeezes his eyes shut as James presses the disinfectant against the wound, memories of falling off his bike and scraping his knee or palms not even amounting to the sting that hits him with this cut.

 

James dabs at it thoroughly for a few more moments, finally able to see the cut fully, “It looks like you won’t need stitches.”

 

Aleks raises his brow in disbelief, “How do you know?”

 

“I’ve had my fair share of accidents when I was in high school.”

 

Aleks wants to ask more about the topic, but instead allows him to place a gauze and bandage over his knee, thanking him as he stands and automatically feels better as he places weight on his knee.

 

James asks if he wants to order some food for dinner and Aleks declines, easily climbing up the stairs to take a quick shower, careful of his bandage, and fall into bed. He immediately drifts into a deep sleep, not caring that his thin bed sheet is the only thing covering his tired body.

 

James strolls into the downstairs laundry room half an hour later after eating dinner to grab a clean shirt for bed, his eyes catching the clean blankets in the dryer as the machine beeps for notification of the blankets being ready. They’re Aleks’, he notices, the grey and navy stripes usually on the younger's bed. He pulls them out from the dryer and bundles them in his arms to throw them onto the living room couch for the other to get in the morning.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, James finds himself fatigued as he sits at his computer, pushing himself up from his spot in his suede chair to walk downstairs to grab a bottle of water before bed. After retrieving the bottle from the fridge, he finds himself in the upstairs hallway, stopping as he involuntarily shivers at the sudden lack of warmth in the house. He walks into his room, setting his water on his nightstand before thinking back to the blankets he had thrown on the couch earlier that night. Descending the steps and grabbing the bundle, he makes his way back up the steps and opens the brunet’s bedroom door, setting the blankets at the foot of Aleks' bed as he turns his heel to exit the dark room.

 

He pauses and stares back into the dark room for a moment. With a sigh, he quietly steps back into the room, unfolding the striped comforter to place it onto Aleks’ back.

 

Aleks immediately reacts to the action and tugs the blanket over his shoulder in his sleep, leaving James to roll his eyes at his roommate and retreat to his own room for bed. 


	6. "Have a good day at work."

  1. “ _Have a good day at work_.”



 

Weeks seem to pass by and both men seem to pick up on one another’s routines.

 

Aleks notices James’ problem with sleeping in, how the other man doesn’t force himself up as Aleks does every morning with a cup of coffee. He notices that James takes a shower in the late evenings, opposite to Aleks who prefers to shower in the morning. He notes that when he drives with the older to the office, James scrolls through his Twitter notifications and likes to make fun of Aleks’ driving skills under his breath.

 

James notes that Aleks absolutely _adores_ wearing sweatpants around the house, where he himself is more comfortable in a loose pair of basketball shorts. He takes in how quiet Aleks is when he wakes to walk down the stairs whereas James unintentionally makes as much noise as physically possible. And finally he makes a mental note that the amount of protein powder Aleks accumulates on the kitchen counter is parallel to how tired he is; the more chocolate powder scattered everywhere, the less sleep the brunet acquired after a long night of streaming.

 

So, per usual winter season, when James gets a nasty cold, Aleks teases it as a lack of taking up his offers on drinking a cup of orange juice every morning.

 

James blows into his fifth kleenex in his past minute of standing in the kitchen, “Whatever, I’m going back to bed.”

 

Aleks looks over at the empty backpack that the older usually carts into work with and instantly feels a small amount of sympathy, hesitating before asking, “Need anything while I’m out?”

 

James sniffles, lips curling up in a dazed smile before waving the brunet off, “No, I’m good. You just need to make sure no one fucks with my office while I’m not there.”

 

Aleks pulls his own work backpack over his shoulder, scowling playfully at the request, “You’re the one that usually comes and wrecks my office when I _am_ there, fuck you. Your office can fend for itself.”

 

James lets out a laugh and Aleks has to fight back the frown that begins to form at the painful sound coming from the older’s chest at the noise, “Well then, _have a good day at work_ , honey.”

 

Aleks watches, walking backwards to the front door, as James makes his way upstairs and out of sight. He waits for the sound of James’ television to flicker on before he walks out the door, locking it behind him and climbing into his car.

 

When he arrives at the office, he stops in front of Jordan’s open door to tell him that James was stupid enough to get himself sick, which has Jordan laughing and stating that he’ll send him a text later on in the day telling him to get better.

 

Aleks finds himself walking past his own office during the day and stilling in front of James’ open door, making sure that nothing has gone wrong in the space. It’s rare that the two of them are in their offices on the same day, but for some reason, when Aleks takes a seat in his own chair, he can’t help himself from glancing over to the empty blue chair a few feet away that James often sits in to torment and chat with the younger.

 

He drives home that evening with a bottle of cough syrup, setting it discreetly on James’ dresser and throwing a discarded pile of t-shirts on it as if to hide it. James currently looks passed out with his back turned and a blanket pulled over his head as he turns to leave the room, but he still shuts it quietly anyway. He knows that James is too stubborn to ask the brunet to get him some medicine and too ill to drive himself out to get some.

 

So, he wakes in the morning to find James downing a small, plastic medicine cup in the kitchen. He looks better, his skin brighter and the look of suffering and fatigue now easing its way out of his features.

 

Aleks pulls a water from the fridge, gesturing innocently to the medicine, “You finally found some medicine?”

 

Just as Aleks planned, James shrugs and smiles, seeming to think that he had simply misplaced the cold medicine, “Yeah, I guess. I took some last night after I found it. I knew I had some from last year, I just couldn’t find it.”

 

Aleks smiled knowingly, hiding it behind the water bottle as he strolled from the room.


	7. "I dreamt about you last night."

  1. _“I dreamt about you last night.”_



 

All Aleks can remember is dozing in and out of a sweat-ridden sleep starting at one in the morning. He’ll reach over to down a sip of his water, push his blankets back to relieve some of the tiresome heat around him, and then doze off seconds later with his cheek pressed against his pillow.

 

He remembers cloudy flashes of a dream in between these intervals of poor sleep.

 

He’s in a crowded room of neon lights, people around him moving in a hazy rhythm with the faint sound of a familiar overplayed hit around him. He’s laughing as he sways uncoordinatedly, a drink in hand and another wrapped around a faceless individuals’s shoulder, when someone suddenly catches his attention in his peripheral vision.

 

He wakes up abruptly at that, turning over and grumbling about his brain’s poor sense of timing before falling back into the dream.

 

When he’s back in the room, he notes that the figure that he once spotted from the corner of his eye is male and it’s undeniably the toothy grin of none other than _James_ . His dreamself seems _ecstatic_ at the appearance of the older and lets out a lively and unintelligible greeting.

 

Dream James rolls his eyes and this has his dreamself shoving him playfully, causing Dream James to laugh and finally speak to the younger in a choppy and uneven voice, “Having fun, Aleksandr?”

 

His dreamself fucking _giggles_ and slushes his drink around in its cup, “Best time, ever! It’s weird seeing you here.”

 

Dream James shakes his head at the drunk reply, lightly pushes past his dreamself to disappear into the crowd, and calls over his shoulder, “Well, I guess you’re actually kind of cool then, loser.”

 

Aleks calls out to him, trying to coax him back to speak with him about the strange statement that sounds like it should be a line in a poorly written high school romance flick, but gets no response.

 

He wakes up again, this time fully sitting up to furrow his brow and whisper to himself aloud, “What the actual fuck was that?”

 

He doesn’t remember falling back asleep after that, and certainly doesn’t remembering having any other dreams involving any other of his fellow _pals_ , but finds himself waking up to afternoon sunlight streaming into his room.

 

He walks downstairs to find James lounging on the sofa. The older has a hand pressed against his temple lazily as he surfs through television channels, a humoring smile forming on his face at the sight of Aleks’ disheveled hair.

 

“Rough night?”

 

Aleks opens his mouth and closes it quickly afterward in hesitance, shaking his head before mumbling out a reply, “I couldn’t sleep. Kept having the weirdest dream about...”

 

James looks genuinely curious now, a teasing smile on his lips, “Are you seriously confiding about your sex dream to me, Aleks? I mean, I know we’re _close_ and all, but there have to be _some_ boundaries here-”

 

Aleks scoffs, “No, _I_ actually _dreamt about you last night_ , asshole. And I can assure you that there was nothing promiscuous if you were in it,” he pauses, rolling his eyes as he can’t even remember what James had said to to him in the dream now, “We were in some type of club or something and I was drunk and then you were there and said something idiotic and left.”

 

James let out a laugh, head tilting back at the thought of him taunting Aleks even in his own dream, “Ooh, so even your dreams are too _cool_ to have me in them. If it keeps happening, let me know so I can charge you for it and actually make some profit out of my entertainment.”

 

Aleks turns to walk into the kitchen, “It won’t happen again.”

 

James turns his attention back to the television before calling out a final remark to Aleks, “You know, they say that when someone appears in your dreams suddenly that they miss you! Maybe I just miss you, Aleksandr!”


	8. "Take my seat."

  1. “ _Take my seat._ ”



 

James had gotten used to his housemate arriving late to many events. Dinners, movie trips, special out-of-state events, meetings, lunches, filming, scheduled recordings over skype. The list was endless.

 

But for one of their annual tattoo consultations that they’d scheduled for weeks in advance...

 

_I mean, really._

 

James clicked at his phone’s lock button for what seemed to be the fifteenth time upon entering the black and white tiled shop half an hour ago. He didn’t think Aleks would be _this_ late. He’d even been blabbering non stop about all the details and hues that he’d been hoping to get filled in on his right arm for the past couple weeks to the older.

 

 _Maybe he’d forgotten_ , James thought with a quick scowl as a leaned back into his chair pressed up nicely against the tucked corner of the shop deemed as the waiting area.

 

He’d text the brunet. Called him. Left him a voicemail. And even called Jordan to check to see if the man was at the office on the _ungodly_ afternoon hour on a Saturday.

 

Every loose end had left him with no reply or explanation.

 

Suddenly, their ( -James and Aleks', of course, because Aleks had introduced James to his frequent tattoo expert and friend- ) smiling and charismatic tattoo artistic walked over to the half-sulking and half-seething man, wiping his hands with a clean cloth as he gestured at the empty seat next to him where Aleks’ usually sat, “Where’s Aleks at? He was the one that scheduled the appointment in the first place for the two of you last time.”

 

James screamed an ‘ _I fucking know right_ ’ in his own mind, but outwardly shrugged and laughed cluelessly, “I don’t know, man. He’s been talking about getting his sleeve done since we left that day. I should’ve reminded him this morning when he left for the gym.”

 

The artistic raised a brow, “Stubborn thing’s finally been taking my advice on bulking up?”

 

James cackled out a laugh, “Seems so.”

 

The man smiled warmly and gestured to the empty chair at his usual station, “We can try and get you set up while we’re waiting for him.”

 

James glanced into the glass window behind him and saw no sign of Aleks’ car in the parking lot.

 

Ever since they had booked their joint-appointments, the men had always found ways to entertain and distract the other while getting the familiar needle on their skin. James knew Aleks was accustomed to and perfectly fine with being alone during the long period, but even so he knew that the brunet liked ( -more than he favored to admit-) that James was beside him to crack a joke about seeing a few tears in his eyes or about him being addicted to pain.

 

Truth be told, James didn’t mind either as Aleks did the same for him; conversing with and around him as his skin was stung and prodded at. It was a distraction, at least.

 

James sighed, standing up with hesitance as he pocketed his phone, “Why not.”

 

The man gestured to the seat, waiting as James shrugged off his jacket and set his watch onto the table beside the chair. He moved to sit in his usual mid-reclined position when the golden bells at the front door suddenly rung wildly.

 

Aleks was rushing into the building in milliseconds, giving James an apologetic smile as he set two bottles of soda on the table as some sort of reparation for the lack of his presence.

 

James smirked, “You think a Dr. Pepper is going to make me forgive your ass for being thirty minutes late?”

 

Aleks tilted his head side to side as if in thought, “I thought maybe... it would make a small _dent_ in the wrath, but _listen_ , I have a good explanation.”

 

James crossed his arms and Aleks rolled his eyes out of exasperation as he continued, “Katie really wanted me to go with her to-”

 

James puffed out a laugh and extended his hand with a few shakes as if out of slight disgust and disinterest, silencing the brunet as he pulled on his jacket and snapped his watch back onto his wrist, “Just, _take my seat_ and explain so _I_ don’t have to listen to you ogle on about your girlfriend and be in pain at the same time.”

 

Aleks grinned and shrugged off his own jacket, watching as James cracked open his soda and pulled up a stool to sit beside the reclined younger as he began to explain his adventures with his enthusiastic girlfriend.

 

James tried not to sputter out his drink at the abrupt swerve of topic from speaking about picking out new bedspreads to new shower curtains to going to a dog adoption center and _seeing the_ _cutest Keeshond puppy_.

 

Aleks sent him an apologetic smile for the second time that day, "Surprise." 


	9. "I saved a piece for you."

  1. _“I saved a piece for you.”_



 

Aleks had just begun processing a video when all the lights and monitors in the office building suddenly went dark. He blinked once, twice, _three_ times before finally pushing away from his desk and poking his head into the dark hallway.

 

He’d seen the hallway dark before, but that was usually during his late nights after most of the office had gone home and the sky itself was dark. Now it was simply just eerie standing in the dark hall as sunlight mixed in with the quiet space.

 

He should’ve known Joe would’ve been the first person to grab a camera and wander around the office in a panic. Everyone was gathering in the hallway and Aleks had to laugh at Jordan’s frantic stride as he walked down the hall.

 

“Jordan,” Joe said suddenly with comical terror, “the power went out.”

 

Jordan laughed and put on a facade of worry for the viewers, “This is not good,” he said, “Let’s check up on everyone.”

 

Dan was behind the taller man, tilting his head as he looked up to the sets of lights placed every ten feet or so on the highest points of the hallway’s walls, “I don’t understand why the emergency lights aren’t on, though? Shouldn’t they be on?”

 

Aleks turned to see James standing in front of his own office’s door, “What’s the problem? Is it the whole building or just us?”

 

Jordan decided that he’d go check with the other offices in the building and found that it was a region wide power outage. Many of the companies and buildings around them had decided to call it a day and go home after ten minutes of no air conditioning and dark restrooms.

 

Jordan gathered everyone in the hall and announced that the power would be back on in a few hours and that maybe it would be nice to get away from technology for a bit. Most agreed with him in begrudging tones and settled on ordering some delivery for lunch.

 

“How about some pizza?” Spencer suggested, already dialing up the nearest pizza delivery service to have a few boxes sent to the vacant office building.

 

Jordan had even teased about how this was the first stage of the apocalypse, Joe chiming in with his argument that it was _definitely_ the ‘Purge’ taking place and Dan quickly following up jokingly about it being the first stage of the inexorable Rapture.

 

After they had argued and joked about the meaning of the power outage in front of the still rolling camera for half an hour or so, everyone dispersed back into their own offices; all tapping away at their phones to send out humorous pleads and pictures of their struggle for sanity without electricity.

 

James had somehow ended up in Aleks’ office --he’s never _really_ sure why he decides to enter the brunet’s space when he’s bored or has nothing else to do-- and began to speak to one another about their upcoming scheduled stream on Tuesday and Aleks’ nearing birthday.

 

“So, Katie getting or doing anything for you for the special occasion?” James mumbled, a small knowing smile forming on his face at Aleks’ sudden quiet demeanor with the brought up subject of the girl.  

 

The younger stared at his monitor for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly, “I don’t know. She’s so good at keeping secrets- Not to say that I expect anything. She knows that.”

 

James hummed, laughter filling his chest and throat as Aleks sent him a warning and teasing glare from over his monitor. Simply seeing Aleks’ bashful eyes peering over the monitor was enough to send James into a laughing fit at his friend’s embarrassment.

 

James let out a final laugh and stared at Aleks’ tinted face, “She’s got you wrapped around her finger, doesn’t she?”

 

Aleks huffed, rolling his eyes as he sank down further into his chair, “Go away, James,” he muttered.

 

James smiled and shrugged off his jacket as he exited the room and entered his own office space, already feeling hot in the stilled office despite it being cold outside from the fall weather.

 

He passed the time by cleaning up his cluttered desk. He had so many random sticky notes stuck to his desk, all filled with messages that he only vaguely understood due to their strange messages and horrible handwriting from his fellow co-workers. After he had sorted out the sticky notes, he went to picking up all the tangled wires under his desk.

 

He glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was going to jump into his office as he was in a compromised position under his desk --he had to _make sure_ these days with all the pranks the other men in the office pulled-- and found that the coast was clear.

 

He had just finished organizing the cords when he suddenly felt a presence behind him.

 

“What are you even doing-”

 

James jumped at the voice, hitting his head in the process and letting out a groan of pain at his aching temple. The voice seemed to think this was funny and laughed, giving James the identity of the culprit of his now throbbing headache before he even received the chance to get a look at a pair of dark tawny skinny jeans.

 

“Aleks!”

 

James crawled out from under his desk, a look of aggravation on his face as he glanced up at the brunet, ready to scold and bicker with him. Though when he spotted the object in his hand, he frowned and shut his mouth.

 

Aleks stepped back as James stood, a proud smile on his face --one from no doubt making James _crash_ his head into his desk-- as he handed the plate of pizza to the older, “I guess you didn’t hear Joe call that lunch was here. You better be glad _I saved a_ few _piece_ s _for you_ , Spencer only ordered three boxes.”

 

James sent him a skeptical look, but nonetheless took the plate from him, “You really need to stop bribing me with things.”

 

Aleks crossed his arms, smile still set on his face, “What am I bribing you for right now?”

  
James shrugged, taking a seat in his chair as he took a bite of pizza, “Bribing me into giving you some of my 7.7 million, of course. Now that I think about it though, pepperoni pizza isn't very tantamount to my millions of YouTube dollars, Aleks.”


	10. "I'm sorry for your loss."

  1. “ _I’m sorry for your loss.”_



 

Aleks hasn’t really dealt with the reality of how short life can be in the  span of his life in Colorado. It’s been too busy to remember. How could he remember when everything’s been moving so _fast_ and it’s go, go, _go_ with his own channel, the Hub, and the unexpectedness that is his personal life?

 

But he is forced to remember when he gets a call from an unknown number as he stands at the backdoor of the backyard; the puppy now deemed ‘Mishka’ relieving herself far in the back corner of the yard. The dog has been waking him up in the early mornings, whining beside his bed and promptly scurrying downstairs to the backdoor for him to let her out.

 

Aleks usually doesn’t pay any attention to unknown numbers like this, but decides against his better judgement since the caller is strangely from his hometown back in Massachusetts.

 

“Hello?” He says groggily, because he hasn’t had his coffee yet and he really doesn’t want to deal with an all-too-cheery caller attempting to sell him something.

 

“Hello, am I speaking to Aleks Marchant?” It’s a woman’s voice, and she sounds just as -if not even _more_ \- tired as he is.

 

He clears his throat, “Yes, that’s me,” he pauses, furrowing his brow at who could be calling him this early in the morning from home, “Who is this?”

 

There’s a fatigued sigh and Aleks shuts the sliding door quietly behind Mishka as she enters the house, “My name is Jennifer Pierce. I’m calling on the behalf of my sister, Erica Susan,” there’s the sound of ruffling papers in the background, “ _Benjamin’s_ mother.”

 

Aleks takes a seat on one bar stool pushed up against the kitchen’s counter. He hadn’t heard that name in years: _Benjamin Susan_. He had been close friends with him in middle school and through high school, with both of them having the same interests in courses and clubs such as robotics and graphic design. Though he hadn’t spoken with the man in a few years, not since he moved to Colorado, and he has a bit of regret from not keeping in touch.

 

A memory of having a sleepover at Ben’s house when they were twelve flashes in his mind for a moment and he shakes his head.

 

“Oh- hello, yeah... What can I do for you, Mrs. Pierce?” Aleks remembers Ben’s aunt often coming over and saying hello to the boys as they played video games in his living room. She was older than Ben’s mother and had moved out of state.

 

There’s another prolonged inhale and exhale before she replies, “Have you spoken with Ben- recently, I mean? Erica tells me you moved to Denver.”

 

Aleks feels something like _dread_ form in his throat, “I haven’t spoken to him since I moved, no. Is everything okay?”

 

The line is silent for a moment and Aleks’ breath ceases into shallowness altogether as she replies softly, “Ben was sick, Aleks. He got sick just after he graduated college a few years back. He went to the doctors and was diagnosed with Leukemia.”

 

Aleks’ arms slide against the counter as he pushes a hand up to rest flat against his forehead, “ _Leukemia?_ ”

 

“He fought it off for a good while with the chemotherapy. He was strong and had a lot of loving people around him to get him through it, but...”

 

Aleks feels the dread travel into his stomach, feeling sick at her _past tense_ , “He isn’t- Is Ben all right _now_ , though?”

 

“He died _three days_ _ago_ , Aleks. I’m calling because Erica wanted all his friends from when he was younger to be at the funeral Wednesday. You’re one of the first that I’m calling since you and Ben were so close. I know he’d want you to be there.”

 

Aleks feels _numb_ suddenly. Ben was two months _younger_ than him. Years of memories he’d long forgotten reappear behind his lids. He doesn’t know whether to push them away or pull them forward, so instead he tightens his grip on his phone and shuts his eyes for a moment before replying.

 

“Of course. I’ll book a flight for Tuesday.” He says, keeping his voice firm to hide his shaking.

 

Ben’s aunt tells him where the funeral will be held and that he can invite his family if he’d like to for support. Aleks replies evenly and ends the phone call after the older woman gently gives him an apology and a goodbye.

 

He doesn’t know how long he’s sitting at that bar stool, but apparently long enough for someone in the house to wake up and come down for breakfast.

 

Aleks inhales and rubs at his arms as James enters the kitchen, flipping on the lights as he scratches at his beard. He wasn’t expecting Aleks to be down in the kitchen this early, for he jumps and curses under his breath as he spots the brunet sitting at the counter.

 

“ _Fucking hell_ , are you doing up so early, man?” James says, his voice graveling and uneven with sleep.

 

Aleks opens his mouth to reply as James opens the fridge and grabs the milk, but at once shuts it as James turns only to raise his brow in genuine surprise.

 

“Have you... been _crying_?”

 

Aleks jumps in embarrassment, quickly rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. He had felt no tears slip from his eyes, but apparently his tear ducts had reddened and filled his eyes in a way that made them appear abnormally glossy.

 

He breathes in, but it comes out as a sniffle on accident, “ _No_ , my eyes are just- irritated, is all.”

 

James gives him a look of disbelief and sets the milk down, “Why are you in the kitchen at eight in the morning crying?” He smiles in amusement, “Did you stub your toe on the edge of the table _again_ , Aleksandr?”

 

Aleks shakes his head slowly, paying no mind to James’ taunting, and picks up his phone. He twists it in his grasp, keeping his eyes on the black screen. He’s never had to tell anyone about _this_ kind of thing.

 

James grabs cereal from the cupboard, “C’mon Aleks, I was only teasing about you stubbing your toe-”

 

“My friend died from Leukemia three days ago.”

 

The spoon in James’ grip drops abruptly with a _clash_ onto the tile and Aleks sniffs once more before he glances up to see the older man’s mouth hanging open. His eyes are wide with shock and concern and Aleks gives him a sad, crumbling smile because he doesn’t know _what the fuck else_ to do in this situation.

 

He continues, “I, um, knew him since the sixth grade. His name was Ben, and he lived in my neighborhood, went to high school with me.” He pauses, “His aunt just called me to tell me that the funeral is Wednesday.”

 

James pulls up a bar stool from the other side of the counter, “Shit, Aleks.”

 

Aleks gives him that same sad smile.

 

James looks just as inexperienced and unprepared for what to say to him and Aleks can’t blame him because no one their age should have to cope with someone dying so _abruptly_ like this. They’re supposed to do this when they’re older and _prepared_ for this, not when they’re in their twenties and occupied with the hope in their lives.  

 

But James, as he always does, seems to know the exact thing to say -whether it be the truth or a blatant lie- and it always surprises Aleks.

 

“Well, I can’t really fucking imagine what you’re going through, but if it means anything,” he pauses and gives him a soft smile, “ _I’m sorry for your loss_ and I’m your friend so...”

 

Aleks genuinely smiles at his try in consoling him, finding a mix of gratitude and, _strangely_ , comfort in the older man’s words, “Thanks.”

 

James turns his back to him, but Aleks can still tell he’s easily smiling, “I just wanted you to know that if you need someone to, I don’t know,  _talk to_ or something, that I’m here. I guess, all right?”

 

Aleks nods and gratefully takes the bowl and spoon that James hands to him.

 

After having a quiet bowl of cereal with James, Aleks remembers falling back into his bed and waking up a few hours later to find airline tickets for Tuesday printed out and haphazardly placed on his nightstand.

 

When he asks James about it that following evening, the man simply replies it was a favor being returned for saving him pizza not a week before. Aleks doesn't question it after that and settles for joining him in watching his beloved _WWE Raw_ that he catches up on every once in a while. James randomly offers to drive him to the airport during a commercial break, because Katie's busy working on Tuesday morning and _frankly_ James is planning on staying home and playing the new episode of  _The Walking Dead_ anyways, and Aleks accepts before heading up to bed.  


	11. "You can have half."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two things: I took inspiration from cow chop with james' spiel about a cloud game & I had to add 'rekt' and 'rekted' to my computer's dictionary... carry on.

  1. _“You can have half.”_



 

Quick jumps across clouds on the bright screen. The sound of Aleks’ disbelieving sputtered laughter beside him as the younger is shoved off one of the cloud platforms by an enemy. The constant ascending chat on the screen above their heads. The bitter smell of empty red solo balsamic vinaigrette cups beside them from their previous game.

 

This is what James would call an eventful Tuesday evening in the office. And the hours are too late in the night for them to be doing this, truly.

 

James snickers into his fist, his eyes squeezing shut as he leans back into the chair involuntarily in laughter as Aleks falls from the cloud platform _again_. Aleks gives him a definite look that screams ‘I hate you so much’ as the chat fills with mocking comments about Aleks getting ‘rekted’.

 

Aleks’ glares teasingly and points to the screen as his eyes catch the viewers’ comments, “You guys just don’t understand how fucking _stupid_ this game is because it’s not even out yet. None of you have any experience with this horrendous game.”

 

James’ laughter settles, but a grin remains on his face as the game’s pause menu blinks on the monitor, “You’re really not helping your case here by whining about it. I think this game is great. You’re just an _amateur_.”

 

Aleks rolls his eyes, but picks the controller back up to resume the game. James, honestly, loves the games’ concept, but the developers just did a faulty job at the mechanics and drive of the game. There’s no purpose to jumping across the clouds other than to reach a hot air balloon at the end of the game that holds bags of gold.

 

It was good idea that was undeveloped, he decides. He could've done much better with the design if given the opportunity.

 

After a few more minutes of pointless, yet somehow entertaining due to Aleks’ frustration, leaps and enemy hits across the map, they come across a checkpoint filled with floating boxes similar to _Mario_ item blocks. They’re different with the outline of a puffy, dark cloud instead of a golden or shining _Mario_ block, but they serve the same practical purpose of granting items.

 

The problem is that there are four blocks and two of them, and a text box floating across the screen stating they each may only choose one.

 

Aleks’ character makes a dash for the final fourth block; Aleks’ himself making a grunt of satisfaction at his choice. James’ character runs between the first and third block before choosing the second.

 

They hit the blocks in sync and James’ almost falls out of his chair at the outcome.

 

Comically, what erupts from Aleks’ block is a single, silver lightning-bolt-imprinted coin. It’s almost useless in the game other than buying power-ups and they have both already unlocked all of them.

 

From James’ block, however, is an erupt of extra ‘sun drops’ that symbolize hearts or lives in the game. There have to be at least 20 of them, by the looks of it, and Aleks’ mouth gapes.

 

His mouth hangs open because James still has all of his previous twenty sum of lives and Aleks’ total of lives remains at the minuscule number of _two_.

 

James should’ve rushed to pick up the bouncing sun drops by now, but instead he is giving Aleks’ a boastful grin at the irony of their situation.

 

He giggles at Aleks’ disheartened position in his chair, the brunet’s head tossed to the side in exasperation, “Well... _Aleksandr,_ how much are you willing to pay for one of these lives?” He says, laughter filling each word.

 

Aleks lifts his head up, running a hand down his face as he looks back to the screen and then to James once again, “Pay? James, my ass has been _brutally_ beaten by this game since we fucking started! I think I’ve paid enough!” He says pitifully.

 

James’ stomach hurts from how hard he’s laughing, “You expect me to give you all these lives for _free_?”

 

Aleks’ brow raises for a moment and his eyes lift to the chat. They flit across the screen of comments briefly before he lets out a high chuckle and glances back over to James.

 

James’ neck inches back slowly, a startled expression on his face as Aleks _unzips his jeans_ ; turning the desk chair as he fumbles with something away from the camera. James, eyes preposterously wide and mouth formed into a pure ‘o’, stares at the camera.

 

He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but he nearly keels over at the ridiculous sight.

 

Aleks gives him a smirk, his small pinky wiggling between his jean zipper.

 

All James can do is put on a show for the audience, he knows they love this kind of stuff, and stare at it in mock-wonder, “Aleksandr, how _scandalous_.”

 

Aleks slips up on his ‘seductive’ expression and lets out an abrupt giggle, “Is this-” another giggle erupts from his lips, “Is this a good enough payment?”

 

James makes a contemplative face for a moment before giving an over dramatic sigh and gesturing for him to put his ‘payment’ away, “I guess it must do. I would only give you a few, but since this payment was so satisfactory I guess _you can have half_ of them.”

 

James’ character runs to grab half of the sun drops for himself before allowing Aleks to do the same.

 

Aleks elbows him, giving him a toothy smile as they move on with the game, “You’re such a _gracious_ friend, James.”

 

James lets out a puff of air, “ _That_ was a one time thing, Aleksandr.”

 

Aleks tilts his head and all James wishes he could do was punch him straight in the nose, “Your graciousness or my little show? I’m confused.”

 

“Both.” James mumbles with an inch of a smile. 

 

They continue on with the game, but when Aleks comes across a secret cloud-chest filled with gold he doesn’t hesitate to silently share it with James. And when given the option to fully customize the colors for their character’s attire when they level up, neither of them argue at unspoken agreement to match.

 

"Do they have teal?" 


	12. "Take my jacket, it's cold outside."

  1. “ _Take my jacket, it’s cold outside._ ”



 

It’s nine in the morning and James could really use some help.

 

He’s been sifting through his pile of dirty clothes, attempting to find a _semi-clean_ jacket to wear at the office for the day. He knows and acknowledges that he’s terrible at reminding himself to do laundry, hating himself for it in this very moment because he can’t find a single jacket that doesn’t smell abnormally _stale_ from lack of washing.

 

Within a few minutes, he gives up entirely and decides to layer up in a long sleeve and one of his thinner jackets. It probably won’t protect him from the cold as much as he would like it to, but it will have to do. The office is blasting with heat around this time of year, anyway.

 

He makes his way down the stairs, strolling through his phone casually and tapping his pocket to reaffirm that his wallet and house keys were with him. When he glances up from his phone, he spots Aleks lounging on one of the plush chairs in the main foyer of the house, phone in his grasp.

 

Aleks glances up at the older and raises a brow, “It’s like, fucking forty-degrees out. ‘Trying to keel over or something?”

 

James rolls his eyes and opens the door, at once shutting it again as a gust of cold air hits him unexpectedly. He doesn’t want to turn to face Aleks because there’s probably some kind of _shit-eating grin_ on his face.

 

But he has to, because Aleks sighs and opens one of the house’s hall closets, “Here,  _take my jacket_ , _it’s cold outside_ , you idiot.”

 

James turns, eyeing the jacket with hesitation. It’s a dark brown, sleeves a crisp leather and the inner-lining a warm fabric. It looks nothing like what he would normally wear and Aleks knows this. He’s tried so many times to convert the older to wear more ‘fashionable’ items of clothing.

 

“I’m not wearing that.”

 

“Why not?” Aleks asks defensively.

 

James crosses his arms and gives him a look that reads ‘are-you-fucking-serious-right-now’, but he nonetheless takes the jacket from the brunet and mumbles, “I’m going to look like a prick with this thing on.”

 

He shrugs it on and tries not to visibly show to Aleks how surprised he is that the jacket is comfortable. He didn’t think it would fit him well either, due to his and Aleks’ difference of frame size, but it does.

 

Aleks smiles a bit at James as he picks at the sleeves, pushing them up a bit just to make it seem more ‘James’ and less ‘Aleks.’ It’s strange, seeing James in something that he would never usually wear or buy, but the jacket really does suit him. The color compliments his eyes-

 

“Okay, I get it. You think the jacket looks better on you than it does on me, but,” James says satirically with a hint of amusement, then gesturing to the front door, “I don't care and I would really like to get going. You can blabber on about it in the car.”

 

Aleks nods, distracted and still bewildered from his  _strange_ thought, and fishes his car keys out of his pocket before following James out the door. James lets out a few curses at the frigid air as he walks to the brunet’s car and Aleks laughs in agreement as he rushes to turn on the vehicle’s heater.

 

It’s  _normal_ to think that a color compliments someone’s eyes, he thinks to himself as he drives. He takes a quick glance at James out of the corner of his eyes and nods to himself in reassurance.

 

 _It’s normal_ becomes a chant throughout the day as James continues to sport the complimentary jacket.

 

The person who finally notices just how often Aleks is staring at James in the jacket is Dan, who quite honestly notices everything, and Aleks feels like a deer caught in headlights. 

 

“Isn’t that your jacket, Aleks?” he asks.

 

They’re all sitting at the wooden table in the conference room, discussing an upcoming video, and suddenly all eyes are on him. He’s mid-sip with his water and chokes a bit before clearing his throat to glance over to James, who has his head leaned back in relaxation with one single eye now peaked open looking back at him.

 

Aleks always talks with his hands and this time is no exception as he animatedly points between James and himself, “Oh _that_ jacket! The brown one? Yeah, he um-”

 

James interrupts him easily with a quiet bubble of laughter, “I stole it from him this morning. It looks fucking stupid on, but it was a last resort.”

 

Dan makes a noise of understanding, “Well, Aleks here must be a little upset about it because he’s been staring at it all afternoon.”

 

Aleks almost has the reflex to chuck his water bottle over at Dan for the statement, but instead scoffs and gestures to James, “He fucking stole it from me, how could I not be upset?”

 

Everyone laughs, but James sends Aleks an unreadable expression from across the table; blinking briefly before turning his attention back to Jordan as he continues on with their discussion.

 

At the end of the day, Aleks only blames punnett squares and leather; soon forgetting about the jacket altogether.


	13. "Sorry I'm late."

  1. “ _Sorry I’m late_.”



 

He has one hand wrapped around a cup of iced alcohol and the other sitting on the curve his girlfriend’s waist beside him; also known as Aleks’ definition of a good time.

 

It’s dark out and the sky is littered with stars above. It’s cool out, and he’s warmed by the thin leather jacket covering him and the body beside him.The surging band on the stage a few yards ahead of them is loud and lively. Aleks _thrives_ for the feeling of the speakers against his skin and pounding in his ears.

 

It’s a record for not constantly checking his phone; maybe _4 hours_ , at least, since that’s how long it’s been since they climbed in the car and drove down to one of Littleton’s seasonal music festivals earlier in the day. It’s a personal accomplishment for him and his girlfriend had teased him about it earlier as they shared a few pre-packed chocolate-covered strawberries.

 

Aleks can still taste them on both of their lips as he leans down to give her a quick kiss as the band finishes their final song. They aren’t the last band of the night, since the festival doesn’t end until around midnight and it’s currently only nine, and they file off the stage as the next band sets up.

 

Aleks laughs at her smug expression as he finally pulls out his phone for the first time that evening and checks his notifications for _any_ sign of messages from James.

 

The older man had told him he would meet them at the festival for a good time and a few _much needed_ drinks, but he hadn’t shown or given the brunet a call yet.

 

His finger ghosts over James’ contact, but he shakes his head and pockets the phone instead. He would not hound the man about it, but he can’t help failing to shake off the disappointment of not being able to see him tonight.

 

James had been on a short, week-long vacation to visit family and Aleks had tried his best not to show him he had _missed_ the man in their shared home when they occasionally texted or skyped. James would never given him a break if he knew that Aleks longed to see James passed out solidly on the living room couch.

 

He only wanted to see the sight to snap a picture of it as leverage for later, _honestly_.

 

A few minutes later, James wasn’t even present in his thoughts as the next band played a familiar melody. His girlfriend eventually sways him into dancing and jumping with the chaotic crowd around them and he smiles until his cheeks hurt and his eyes are watering from laughter.

 

One of his favorite songs by the band plays and Aleks lets out a sharp whistle of appreciation and loses himself as he sings along with the lyrics until there is a sudden  _buzz_ in his pocket.

 

Pulling out his phone, he spots it is a text from James.

 

‘ _I heard you fucking whistle, so I know you’re still here. Raise your arm so I can find you_.’

 

Aleks rolls his eyes, but pulls off his jacket to raise up his colorful and unmistakable tattoo-coated arm. It was a running joke between the two men that James could probably spot the sleeve miles away and Aleks took it as a _compliment_ ; since those are so rare from the older.

 

The first thing that informs him that James is present is the cackle of laughter behind him. Aleks immediately turns, eyes searching until he spots the second item that separates James away from anyone else: the black beanie tucked over his head.

 

The man is only a few feet away, and he has to push past a few people, but he eventually reaches the brunet.

 

Aleks opens his mouth to smooth out a sarcastic complaint about his tardiness, but he trips over his words as he notices that one of James’ hands is still angled behind him as if he was pulling someone along with him.

 

Not a second later, James lets out a laugh as a blonde pushes past a final person to reach them. Aleks blinks, mouth curving into a surprised smirk as James makes hushed conversation with her for a moment before turning to face Aleks and his girlfriend once again.

 

James looks to Aleks and Aleks thinks that he’s never seen James’ cheeks so _flushed_ before, “ _Sorry I’m late_ , it’s just that we got a little... caught up after dinner,” James shares a look of knowing with the blonde that Aleks can’t quite decipher. “I hope we missed nothing too important.”

 

Aleks waves him off, “No, there are still a few more bands to see,” Aleks hesitates for a moment before smiling to the unknown woman. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid we haven’t met before. I’m-”

 

The blonde nods and Aleks notices a few streaks of blue in her hair for the first time, “Aleks. James was telling me about you during the drive over here. It’s nice to meet you.”

 

Aleks raises a brow as he looks to James who shrugs with a smile, “Oh, all right then. Well, I’m glad you could make it.”

 

The woman introduces herself properly and all Aleks can notice is how James seems to look down at her as if she’s the _second coming of Christ_ or something else of complete rarity. She seems clever and sarcastic and _authentic_ and loves music and is everything that Aleks thinks that James needs in a girl.

 

At one point during a band change, James and Aleks slip away to get them and the girls more drinks and Aleks takes this as an opportunity to ask what he’s been itching to inquire all night.

 

They’re standing in line and it’s quiet between the two of them before Aleks clears his throat and catches James’ eyes, “So, she seems cool, yeah?”

 

James gives him a small, toothless smile, “Aleks, spit it the fuck out already. I know what you want to ask.”

 

Aleks shoves him with a smile, “Hey, I _have the right_ to know if you two did it on _our_ couch in the living room-”

 

James’ small smile breaks into a full grin as he rolls his eyes at the brunet, “It was _her_ place, _her couch_ , actually. I thought you’d like it if I gave you two some privacy, just in case.”

 

Aleks bubbles out in uncontrollable laughter, happy for his friend. He hadn’t seen James take interest in someone for at least a year. This would be good for him and Aleks couldn’t be happier for him.

 

“Are you two going out?” Aleks asks.

 

James rubs at the back of his neck, smiling, “That’s the thing. I’ve already been on a couple dates with her. She’s an old friend from home I reconnected with. It’s _easy_ with her.”

 

Aleks’ jaw drops and he sputters, “Wait, how long have you been going out with her?”

 

James shrugs and smiles sheepishly as Aleks and him pay for their drinks, “Three or four weeks, maybe.”

 

Aleks’ eyes widen and he ponders at how James kept this from him for such an extended period. Has he not paid enough attention to his roommate? He suddenly feels guilty for not finding out this fact sooner, but James sees this on the brunet’s expression and bumps his shoulder with his own briefly.

 

“Hey,  I guess I’m just too fucking good at keeping things a secret. You may be clueless, but it’s not your fault, Aleks. I just- I like things to be _subtle_.” James reassures him.

 

Aleks blinks and wonders what other things James has kept a ‘secret’ from him, but smiles at him anyways as they approach the girls.


	14. Can I have this dance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m behind time-wise, but I feel as though I’m ready to write about what’s about to unfold amongst the group. There are also so many breaks in the ‘canon’ aspect of this series, such as jumping ahead and back through time just for the sake of it. (i.e. Sly leaving way after some points I make in the story, such as Stefani arriving, etc.) I hope you enjoy this chapter despite the major time difference.

14\. " _Can I have this dance?_ "

 

The day had begun as it always had. Aleks was the last to arrive at the office. He would slip into his office quietly, working on any of his own content before he was inevitably pulled into by someone into recording or filming a segment for the Hub channel. When that time finally came, it was Joe who had been sent to push at his chair; ushering him from his own tranquility and into the office space.

 

It was only yesterday that the office itself had been under straining _tension_ regarding ideas for a new series or structure of the channel itself. James had ended the conversation with his ‘silent aggravation’ state of folding his arms over his chest and forming his lips into a straight line.

 

It had been a few weeks since Eddie had left and it had been a few weeks since his office had been cleaned out; leaving a bare desk and lampshade in the suddenly empty room. Stefani solved this quickly by moving into the small office, adorning the walls with ‘Walking Dead’ posters and twinkling lights, but everyone still had this- _aura_ to them, as if the same thought was tugging at everyone’s minds.

 

 _We need to keep going on_ , they all thought simultaneously.

 

Their solution to this was to clear out a large, central room where they could all be gathered for their own sake of communication. Everyone seemed hesitant about the idea at first, since gaining the office in the first place was to make it more professional and for each of them to have their own private offices, but the thought of this ‘bullpen’ seemed to grow on each of them as each minute passed.

 

Dan had smiled, “Now we can make sure we’re all _doing_ our work.”

 

Spencer and Joe had rubbed the back of their necks sheepishly, reminiscing to last week’s eventful ‘barf spray’ outbreak in the office. The small yet deadly bottle had arrived in the P.O. box, after all, and it would’ve been a waste not to use it.

 

So, plans were made to tear down portions of the office to make room for the bullpen. They documented the demolition process, filming the contractors and workers sneakily as the large room took shape.

 

Weeks passed, and soon enough the space was cleared, carpeted, and painted.

 

One night came, after a long day of furniture shopping for the bullpen and an evening of late dinner, when the entire group bid one another good night as they dispersed from the office and into their individual vehicles.

 

Most of the space for the bullpen was still empty, save for a single table and a few rolling chairs scattered around the open room. With this emptiness came the absence of blinds on the windows due to the need of replacing them, leaving the room littered with the navy of the night when the overhead lights were switched off.

 

So, as Aleks strolled into the dark room, all he could honestly do with himself was to pace aimlessly and think for a moment. With his hands tucked into his jeans pockets, he tilted his head back and closed his eyes, moving his footing as he paced around the quiet room.

 

He began to really _think_. Reflecting on things in his life was usually a habit he had made to do before he slipped away to sleep, but he did it more often in the day the more he spent time in the office.

 

He let out a sigh and opened his eyes to glance around the room. It wasn’t as if he was _unhappy_ here, this was like a second base of operations to him for the past few years. He couldn’t be unhappy here; it made little _sense_ for him to be unsatisfied with himself here.

 

But every day, he thought of all the possibilities of videos and ideas for skits and plans for the future, but inevitably they were mannerly pushed aside or replaced with another route he wasn’t ultimately satisfied with. He just- he wants someone to listen to him.

 

“Well, isn’t this just a scene from a shitty, angst movie?”

 

Aleks jumps, eyes widening for a moment before recognizing the figure in the room’s doorway, “ _Christ_ , you scared me. I thought you had gotten a ride home from Jordan.”

 

James shrugs, crossing his arms as he looks around the room with little purpose, “Nah, stayed behind to see what kind of mischief you were getting up to,” he pauses and moves to check his watch. “Looked like you’re having some kind of ‘midnight mid-life crisis’ when I walked in. That’s kind of fucked-up when you’re only 23, Aleks.”

 

Aleks lets out an easy laugh at this, taking a breath as he looks back at the older man, “Well, I was just thinking, you know. Nothing too serious.”

 

James peaks an eyebrow up in suspicion, but he nonetheless nods and mumbles, “Yeah, I’ve been thinking myself a little, too.”

 

Aleks knows he can’t truly talk with James about what’s pulling at his mind, so instead he brings up a smaller issue to lighten the mood, “ _So_ , I’ve been signed up for couple’s dance classes against my will.”

 

James lets out a puff of laughter, “Katie dragged you into that?”

 

Aleks hums in confirmation, “Have no absolute clue about how to dance, so that’s a downside. She said something about waltz or basic waltz or something like that.”

 

James seems to stare at him for a moment before he takes his phone from his pocket, tapping away before he pulls up two office chairs and gestures for Aleks to take a seat beside him. Aleks laughs at his abruptness, but walks over to take a seat beside the man to see he has pulled up a tutorial video regarding learning how to properly ‘waltz’.

 

Aleks waits for a punchline or sarcastic comment from James as the video plays, but he finds that James actually watches the young couple on the screen with mild interest. It causes a smile to tug at his lips, as he watches James watch the few final moments of the tutorial, mainly because he hadn’t expected the man to be so interested in the subject of ballroom dancing of all things.

 

As the video finishes, Aleks claps with a smile as the couple finally places all of the individual steps they had explained into one final group of movements. There were so many specific ways to move your feet and place your hands, but Aleks seemed to grasp a basic concept of it all. It was only a three-step sequence comprising a step forward or backward, a step to the side, and a step of closing the feet together.

 

What leaves him with his mouth open is when James _ridiculously_ taps on a recommended song for waltzing, gets up from his seat beside him, and over-dramatically offers him his hand.

 

“ _Can I have this dance_ , Aleksandr _?_ ”

 

This is when Aleks thinks maybe this isn’t the _best_ idea in the world regarding him learning how to waltz, but it certainly isn’t the _worst_ either.

 

So he takes James hand, swallows back a breath, and laughs as James places a hand onto his upper side, “Since when did I say you would lead? Isn’t this whole fucking thing is about _me_ learning how to waltz, so I can lead Katie?”

 

James sputters for a moment, but ultimately gives in --rolling his eyes is his only act of defiance-- as Aleks places his own hand against the older man’s side and moves to connect their hands with an unfamiliar grip.

 

James twists his lips in mocking disgust, “Aleks, why are your hands so fucking sweaty, _Jesus._ ”

 

Aleks only tightens his hold on the other man’s hand at this and shrugs with a smirk, “You know just how _nervous_ I get around you, man. It’s awful, really.”

 

James shakes his head, laughing a bit as Aleks attempts to move their feet in a similar fashion to the pair in the video. It’s a difficult order of steps to remember, in the dark at least, in James’ opinion and he had no intention of _actually_ getting through them properly, but Aleks seems determined.

 

Within a few seconds, Aleks is guiding him steadily --with little to no clumsiness, as James had originally expected-- with the music and with the soft whispers of ‘ _1,2,3_...  _1, 2, 3_...’ occasionally.

 

Aleks even dares to _spin_ James, which only results in a cackle of laughter from James and a quick departure from the organized steps. James pulls Aleks around the room as if he were a lightweight doll for a few seconds until Aleks finally gains speed and moves along with him. They circle the dark room, feet skipping and running inharmoniously.

 

It’s ridiculous really, the sight of them. Their loud laughter fills the space, heads tilting back as the song suddenly changes to a quick-paced and booming _Michael Bublé_ song that neither of them can recall.

 

They finally end up separating, staring at one another as they both attempt to catch their breath. Laughter is still resurfacing from their mouths, smiles etched onto their faces as they stare at one another.

 

“Well,” James begins, “I believe you now know how to waltz, Aleksandr.”

 

Aleks gives him a little shove and he gestures for the office’s exit with a jingle of his car keys. It’s late and they’ve got to be here a little early tomorrow morning to help with moving the desks. They slip into Aleks’ car and Aleks almost confesses what’s been biting at his mind for the past few weeks, but James makes a joke about someone on the radio that has him smiling at his _stupid_ humor instead.

  
And, as it turns out, Aleks is the best partner at the couple's lesson.


	15. "I made your favorite."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I apologize to my non-American readers who didn't celebrate yesterday because this chapter is entirely devoted to holiday clichés and horrible Thanksgiving centered fluff.

15\. " _I made your favorite._ "

 

Pumpkin pie, James recalls, was the only thing that he could properly make without the assistance of his mother at Thanksgiving. It wasn’t uncommon for his childhood kitchen to be bustling and chattering at the family-centered time of year, so his mother put him to work at making the simplest thing imaginable: pie.

 

So, when the time of roasted turkey and sparkling cider arrives in his current shared home with Aleks and their girlfriends, _well_ , James is a little more than enthusiastic about making his precious pumpkin pie.

 

The day begins late around ten with James giving his mother and other close family a call, telling them how much he wished he could be back in PA for the holiday. Everyone else in the office had either flown home for the holiday or visited their own family in Colorado. His mother, of all people, understands how busy he is and only teases and questions him of his newly announced girlfriend, Carly. He smiles at this, rolling his eyes, and nonetheless informs her that they will all be helping to cook Thanksgiving dinner.

 

Aleks had reserved a turkey at their local supermarket a week or so ago and had picked it up yesterday. It now sat in their freezer, unknowing to the terrifying experience it was about to undergo with Aleksandr manning a _turkey fryer_ in the backyard.

 

After reassuring himself that his two scheduled ‘Thanksgiving-themed’ videos had gone up on his channel, James enters the kitchen to find Katie, Carly, and Aleks gathered around Aleks’ laptop. They don’t notice his entrance, so he instead decides on sneaking up on Carly by placing his chin on her shoulder.

 

This makes her jump and James laughs as he inspects the laptop’s screen, “Why, may I ask, are you all watching a video on ‘ _How to Properly Fry a Turkey_ ’? Aleks, I thought you were a pro at this?” He says, loving to poke fun at the brunet.

 

Aleks clicks out of the video, effectively shutting the laptop, “I _am_. I was just... making sure that I didn’t set the house --or the neighborhood-- on fire.”

 

Katie lets out a laugh, backing up her boyfriend for his pride’s sake, “Did you know that accidental turkey fires are the number one reason for calling 911 on Thanksgiving?”

 

James rolls his eyes at her with a smile, “Let’s hope that it doesn’t come to that, alright?”

 

They’re all assigned different food tasks after that. Carly is given the job of making the stuffing and green bean casserole. Katie is given the job of mashed and sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce. Aleks assumes the position of frying the turkey and placing the honeyed ham in the oven.

 

And James, _well_ , he is given the duty of pies and rolls because it’s just _assumed_ from his extensive talk of how well he cooks his pumpkin pie and rolls are also one of the simplest things they’re eating.

 

He gathers all his ingredients, smiling as Carly prepares the casserole beside him. He has memorized the recipe over the years, but he texts his mother just to be cautious of how many teaspoons of cinnamon he places into the mix.

 

It only takes around fifteen minutes for him to mix and pour all the ingredients into the pre-made pie crust and he has the pie and rolls packed into the oven along with Carly’s casserole and stuffing, Katie’s potatoes, and Aleks’ ham.

 

James sets a timer on his phone as the girls’ dishes occupy the oven’s own timer. They then proceed to pile into the living room, watching reruns of the cheesy _Macy’s Thanksgiving’s Day Parade_ and the snippets of _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_.

 

Aleks is the last to join them on the couch due to his on-and-off occupation with the turkey outside, but just as he curls beside Katie on the couch he sniffs and makes a face, “Do I smell something _burning_?”

 

It takes James just a fraction of a second to reach into his pocket to see his alarm blinking across his phone’s screen; the device unfortunately being on silent due to his constant messages and interactions on social media.

 

“ _Fuck_ \- my phone’s on silent!” Aleks swears that the older man’s face drains of color, “ _Shit_ , the pie!”

 

James shoots up from his seat, Aleks laughing from his spot on the couch, and rushes into the kitchen. The oven isn’t smoking as he opens it --he almost burns his hands from forgetting to put oven mitts on--, but his pie is _ruined_ . There’s a dark film on the top layer of the supposedly orange pie, the crust is charred on the edges, and _somehow_ the pie itself had spilled over on its small oven tray and had blackened there as well.

 

He takes it out dejectedly and sets it on the counter. As he turns back to the open oven, he lets out a breath in thanks as he sees that at least the rolls aren’t burnt to a crisp and takes those out as well.

 

Katie had already taken out her stuffing and casserole in the midst of watching the parade, as did Carly with her potatoes, and Aleks’ prized honey-ham wasn’t quite done yet.

 

Aleks peeks his head into the kitchen, bursting out into laughter at the sight of James’ pie, and James wants to punch him right then and there.

 

“I thought you said you were a pumpkin pie _master_ , James!” Aleks jokes, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiles, “I was really looking forward to it.”

 

James’ eye twitches just a bit in annoyance with the brunet, but he only sighs and rips off his oven mitts, “Well, I guess we’re just not going to have fucking dessert this year.” He slides the pie into the trashcan and places the oven tray into the sink, “I think this will be the first year in what... about _15_ years that I’ve haven’t had it.”

 

Aleks opens his mouth to crack another joke, but he only furrows his brow in shock at the other man’s final few words, unable to understand, “You’ve made it every year since you were like- what, _ten_?”

 

James smiles at him and Aleks can’t miss the hint of melancholy in the gesture, “Well, I guess I can miss one year, right?” He pauses and gestures to the ham in the oven. “It looks like we’re almost done cooking everything else. I’ll tell the girls to come help us get all the plates and silverware together.”

 

Aleks nods, but has too brilliant of an idea churning in his mind to pay attention to anything else in the moment.

 

* * *

 

After everyone gathers their food together, the group makes a collective decision to sit in the house’s unused and bare dining room. There’s a single, dark wood table that came with the house in the center of the room with six matching chairs. The room is warm with a light above the table with a window onlooking the backyard. 

 

Alcoholic apple-cider and all, the four gather and spend a little over an hour laughing and chatting among each other. Aleks slips away for a moment half-way through the meal, stating that he needed to go check on a Thanksgiving video being uploaded; bickering with James in the process of leaving the table about how they promised they weren’t working for the rest of the day. When he returns, he shoots James a smile that has the older man halting his sip of beer.

 

“What are you up to, Aleksandr?” He mumbles aloud, eyes narrowing as the girls laugh at their antics.

 

Aleks shrugs innocently, shoveling some cranberry sauce into his mouth, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, _James_.”

 

James raises an eyebrow at this, but the evening soon continues on with smiles and laughter. Carly leaves the room to bring each of the men his own turkey sweatshirt, while her and Katie receive their own pair of festive, fuzzy socks. Mishka and Ein are even overjoyed as they get treats and their own festive ornaments for their collars.

 

Though just as James and Aleks tug the sweatshirts over their heads, there’s the sound of the oven’s timer going off. James notes that Aleks is the only one in the room who doesn’t jump at the sound and grows even more suspicious as Aleks glances over to him.

 

The brunet moves around the table to the kitchen’s doorway, raising his index finger in front of James as the older man attempts to follow him into the room, “No, you have to fucking wait like everyone else. _Actually_ , you get to close your eyes for this one.”

 

Aleks dashes off for a moment, leaving James utterly confused when he returns with a black beanie, pulling it over the man’s head and situating him back in his spot at the dining room table.

 

Carly and Katie laugh at James’ open mouth as he is left blind and vulnerable at the table.

 

“I swear- Aleks, if this is some type of fucking Thanksgiving _stripper_ or singing _telegram turkey_ , I will-” James says, ceasing as he hears Aleks shut the oven with a bark of a laugh.

 

James sniffs the air as he spots Aleks carrying something covered with a small sheet through the light breaking through fabric of the beanie, “What is that?”

 

Aleks clears his throat, “Well, I just thought that maybe, your superior Android phone --that can’t even keep a timer on right-- shouldn’t be the reason that you broke a fifteen year running tradition and I know we can't go without dessert on Thanksgiving, so I looked up a recipe similar to the ingredients that you had on the counter and I, well... _I made your favorite_.”

 

James takes off the beanie placed on his head, a weighing expression on his face as Aleks unveils the dish in his oven mitt covered hand.

 

In all honesty, James detonates internally from happiness because before him is _Aleks_ , Aleks who usually has a shit-eating grin on his face and takes his own entertainment from the amount of seconds in a day he annoys the older man, who is now smiling hopefully to him across the table.

 

Aleks actually did this for _him_. He wants to get up, run over to the younger, and thank him repeatedly in some type of strange, foreign embrace, but something’s blocking him from from doing that.

 

He can’t convey this overwhelming internal happiness, at least not in front of Aleks who would most likely never let him hear the end of it, so he resorts to a few levels down from ‘internal self-detonation of joy.'

 

He makes a  _minuscule_ noise, a squeak of some sort, and tries not to show through his ever telling eyes how over the moon he really is about this whole gesture, " _Aleksandr_ , you shouldn’t have.” He gushes comedically.

 

Aleks smiles at him and cuts everyone a slice. It seems like a silent pact between the two men: James doesn’t reveal that he notices how much Aleks is staring at him for a silent sign approval and Aleks doesn’t open his mouth to boast about how better he is at making the coveted pie.

 

At the end of the night when James wraps the leftover pie in saran wrap to place in the fridge, he looks behind him to make sure no one is looking when he snaps a picture of prized dessert for his memory's safe keeping.


	16. "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyways."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter, for some reason ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯.

  1. " _It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway._ ”



 

Figuratively speaking, a _responsible_ 23-year-old should get 7-9 hours of sleep. At his age, sure, people were known for staying up late and adopting strange sleeping schedules, but Aleks was sure he himself had gone off the deep end with his own sleeping habits.

 

It was more of an alarming predicament than a standard habitual sleeping problem, really.

 

He’d find ridiculous things to occupy himself with in the quiet hours of the night.

 

He’d rearrange his desk in his home office. He’d watch movies he’d never regularly dare to watch --teen movies he’d rolled his eyes at when seeing the previews months before-- and grew fond of them. He’d tease Katie with quick remarks as she streamed on late nights. He’d take Mishka and Ein on long walks. He’d edit over-excessively to where his eyes would sting in irritation from how little he blinked. He would strum at his bass gently in his desk chair.

 

It wasn’t until the 5th day of this sleep schedule that Aleks realized he hadn’t gone into the office all this time.

 

James had poked his head into his home office around 8 p.m., just returning home from the office himself, and raised his brows, “You look like shit.”

 

Aleks had seen little of the man all week, due to his sleeping days and nocturnal nights, and smiled tiredly, “Hello, to you too.” He said, pushing back from his spot and leaning comfortably into his chair before hesitating and mumbling, “Do I really look _that_ bad?”

 

James let out a gentle breath of laughter, “It looks like you haven’t washed your hair in days. That and you have dark circles under your eyes that make you look a little... ill.”

 

Aleks reached up to rub his eyes at the statement, “Well, that’s reassuring.” He pauses, keeping his hands over his eyes as he leans back further into his chair, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, man.”

 

James stuck his hands into his pockets, “They’re all worrying about you at the office. I just tell them you haven’t been sleeping well.”

 

Aleks comes to a stand and takes pleasure in the satisfying cracks of bone as he stretches, “It’s the truth.”

 

James watches him as he walks past him, observing how his shoulders close in on themselves. It makes him look smaller, frailer. He then follows the sleep-deprived brunet down the stairs and into the living room.

 

Aleks throws himself onto the couch, eyes staring up at the ceiling, “I’ll try to go to bed early- _well_ , on the right time, tonight. I don’t want to be a fucking wreck when I go back to the office tomorrow.”

 

James stands at the room’s doorway, “You’re coming with me tomorrow?”

 

Aleks shuts his eyes and James takes a step forward, leaning against the couch and staring down at the man, “Maybe I’ll take a sleeping pill or something.”

 

James’ eyes flick to his watch and he turns to exit the room, “I have to go send Jakob some clips to edit for some new videos. Good luck with your sleep dilemma.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Aleks never takes the sleeping pill.

 

He tries, he really does, to slip into bed with Katie and fall into a nice sleep. _But_ he tosses and he turns and he’s too hot and too cold and his computer is calling him to edit from rooms over. He doesn’t give into this, not at first, and tries falling asleep with every method known to man.

 

He counts sheep. He hides his phone and clock. He googles a breathing exercise. He listens to a shitty instrumental playlist. He drinks a warm cup of James’ green tea. He creates a new world in his mind...

 

The final of the six methods is more damaging than helpful in Aleks’ opinion.

 

He shuts his eyes and intentionally sets out to make an ideal world. What _is_ unintentional is that his brain betrays him and pick away pieces of his life he’s been- _torn_ with for a while. In this ideal world, he no longer dreads going to the metaphorically cramped space that is the office. His ideas are used freely and he doesn’t have to juggle his personal life with his personal channel and the group. He is free of criticism, pressure, and of _too much work_...

 

He sits up in bed for a solid 20 minutes after this, staring at his blank television screen.

 

Before he knows it, it is 2 a.m. and his stomach is growling in aggravation. He had turned down the offer of dinner from Katie, unintentionally hurting her feelings.

 

Climbing out of bed, he slips on a t-shirt with his pair of pajama pants and makes his way downstairs into the dark kitchen. He makes the quietest meal possible, a sandwich, and heads up to his office guiltily.

 

He sits there, eating his sandwich, for almost an hour before his door cracks open to reveal an unamused James.

 

“Plan backfired?” James asks, voice rough with sleep.

 

Aleks takes a sip of water before nodding, “Almost threw a pillow at the wall.”

 

James nods as if _this_ is very much normal and thoroughly surprises Aleks as he walks over to take a seat in the extra chair beside the younger. Aleks rushes to pause the movie on his screen, but before he has the chance James eyes him curiously.

 

“You’re watching _The Princess Diaries_ with Anne Hathaway at 3 in the morning?”

 

Aleks shrugs, “It had a Rotten Tomatoes percentage of 47, so I thought I’d see for myself. It’s pretty shit, to be honest.”

 

This earns him a laugh from James, who then smiles at the screen, “What part are you on?”

 

Once again, Aleks is surprised with James’ interest, but stumbles with an answer anyways, “I- uh, just started it a few minutes ago. She got humiliated in that debate class scene.”

 

James nods, “Well, let’s keep watching it then.”

 

Aleks’ hand lingers on the Netflix’s play icon and he turns to face the older, “You don’t have to do that. You can go back to bed. You’re heading to the office tomorrow anyways for one of _The_ _King_ episodes, right?”

 

James waves him off, reaching for the mouse himself and resuming the sentimental movie, “ _It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway_.” He pauses for a moment and Aleks watches and he stands to grab two spare blankets from the room’s closet, “Besides, I’ve got too much on my mind right now to sleep.”

 

Aleks wants to reassure the man of that he’s been battling with the same thoughts for weeks now, but he instead gives him a smile as he takes the blanket in thanks.

 

After 2 hours, the movie has ended and both men’s eyes fail them as they continue to collapse on their own. Aleks compare the dazed feeling in his body to that of being drunk and as the credits roll he glances over to James.

 

He’s leaned back into his chair, one hand full of blanket under his chin as he seems to stare back at Aleks with the same tiredness in his eyes.

 

Aleks doesn’t know why he says it, but he does and he instantly regrets it.

 

“I’m thinking about taking a break from work.”

 

And _god,_ when he hears his own voice he winces. It’s weak and vulnerable and everything he hates to be. He can even see James’ eyes calculating the sound and the tense features on his face.

 

And just when Aleks thinks James will scold him -because he has every right to with how many days Aleks has already missed- he doesn’t. James blinks, gives a slow, thoughtful nod and lets out a soft laugh.

 

“You don’t need my _permission_ to take a break, Aleks. I mean, _christ_ , if I’m being honest I could use one too. But, if you really think it could help _you_ , then I think it’s all right.”

 

After a silent instant of a heartbeat, James continues, “People will go batshit crazy when new videos pile out of you not in them.”

 

“They’ll understand later.” He responds.

 

“Later?”

  
Aleks nods, “When I can sleep again.”


	17. "Watch your step."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little snippet of the holidays, I guess? The next chapter will definitely be holiday themed, though. I hope you all had a great Christmas and if you don't celebrate Christmas, then I really hope you had an amazing holiday as well.

  1. _“Watch your step.”_



 

With both men coming from the northeastern corner of the country, it would be expected that they were accommodated to the natural phenomenon that is snow. Growing up with thick coats, numb fingers, and runny noses had been a rite of passage.

 

James had never had the _best_ motor skills --Aleks mocks that it all went to his nose similar to that of a bloodhound-- and he often slipped on his way home from school in the winter months, but he wasn’t _hopeless_ on the slippery surface.

 

Aleks, on the other hand, has two reactions when he finds himself on ice.

 

One, he remains comically still and searches in a frantic manner for something to grab onto. This item is usually the back of a car or a light pole or a tree, but in the most desperate times it’s another person’s stable arm.

 

Two, which is James’ _favorite_ , is his reaction of sliding across the surface with tangles of yells and noises of alarm. James likes to think this is the brunet’s natural reaction to the said situation and it always brings a smile to his face when he is graced with the sight.

 

* * *

 

It’s two weeks after Thanksgiving and the newscasters had informed all on the weather channel this morning that their area would receive a heavy fall of snow in the late morning.

 

Aleks had just returned from spending time with his family back in his home state the previous night. James welcomed him back with a bouncing Mishka and Ein at his feet.

 

Aleks looked better that night. He had regained the snarky aura that had formerly lingered around him. The brunet even told James admittingly it was nice to have a few days to focus on himself rather than on the _constant_ cycle of their channels.

 

“You wanna drive with me to the office?” James asks in the morning, knowing how much the man misses the others.

 

Aleks looks hesitant for a moment as he sips at a cup of orange juice, but James continues with a teasing smile, “Aron won’t admit it, but he’s been missing you stealing his dum dums. He won’t let anyone else have one.”

 

Aleks, still in a lazy pair of Adidas joggers and a tee, grabs his heavy jacket from the hallway closet and hands James his own. They lace up their shoes beside each other on the sofa. Aleks shoulders his laptop bag as James pockets his phone and other necessities.

 

As they make their way to the door, Aleks looks back at him, “I have one condition to this. I will not be on camera for a while, not yet at least.”

 

James’ footing halts for a beat, but he nods reassuringly, “Yeah, I’ll tell the guys to keep you out of the shot. Is there a reason?”

 

Aleks gives him a wry smile as he opens the front door, “I haven’t made myself camera ready. Plus, it would be nice for fucking once to be behind the camera.”

 

As they step outside, the snow has already been piled on the sides of the streets by a snowplow. Small flakes of snow fall from above and as James reaches out, it dissolves on in his bare hand. He even reaches down to toss a handful of snow from the ground at the man beside him, earning a sound of protest from Aleks as it makes impact with his cheek.

 

Once Aleks has recovered, he tilts his head and sends James a look of determination that has the older man scurrying to the car. James lets out a laugh as he slips briefly on the driveway’s hidden ice, almost tumbling on his ass completely as Aleks the back of his calf with a sturdy snowball.

 

James finally takes refuge behind Aleks’ car and thinks how ridiculous they must appear to their neighbors. He can hear them now, ‘honey, _they’_ re out there again.’

 

He peaks above the car to see Aleks gathering a large clump of snow in his hands, swearing as it stings his bare skin.

 

James smiles, his eyes wide in artificial-fear, “Is this worth it, Aleksandr? Getting frostbite on your hands?”

 

Aleks grins and James has almost accepted his fate as the brunet rounds around the car’s corner. He can’t run from the younger, it’s too slippery to gain any traction. Aleks himself is forced to slide his feet across the pavement in a steady, slow manner.

 

James opens his mouth to jokingly plead for mercy when suddenly Aleks’ right foot catches itself on a particularly solid piece of snow. The miniature boulder of a snowball falls from his grip and he lets out a surprised exclaim as he falls backwards.

 

James finds himself with no other option as he winces and attempts to reach out to grab the younger. Lunging forward, he quickly takes hold of Aleks’ forearm and latches his other hand onto the back of his thick jacket.

 

Now, James didn’t take his high school’s recommended physics course, but he knows what happens in the next few seconds makes no fucking sense scientifically. He need not know Newton’s laws of motion to know this.

 

Instead of pulling both he and Aleks back up securely, James’ grip on his forearm and back seems to tilt them both into the snow beside the pavement. Aleks somehow finds himself pulled closer to the older man as they tumble into the cold blanket of snow.

 

In the present moment, after all the falling and tumbling and impact has occurred, James looks up to see Aleks pressed onto the left side of his chest. James still has a hold on his arm and back, but he quickly removes it as Aleks fumbles to lift himself from the other’s chest.

 

Aleks offers him a hand and James lets out a groan as he takes it, successfully pulled up from the snow.

 

They’ll never admit it to each other out loud, but both men notice how red both of their faces are as they stand. It remains painfully silent as Aleks pushes his hair back from his forehead and James brushes the remaining snow off of his jeans.

 

“Well,” Aleks clears his throat and laughs. “I’m sorry about all of that.”

 

James appreciates how the laughter breaks the unfamiliar tension between them, “No, it was my fault. I threw one at you first.”

 

Aleks shakes his head and shivers, rubbing his hands together, “I was too ambitious with my snowball. Either way, I’m fucking freezing and I’d like to get into the warmth that is the car right about now.”

 

He unlocks the car with his keys and James reaches out instinctively to stable the younger as his foot slides on the way to the driver’s side.

  
James’ sigh somehow mixes with a laugh and he sends him a pointed look, “Jesus, _watch your step_ , Aleks. You act like you’re a newborn giraffe or something.”


	18. "Here, drink this. You'll feel better."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Aleks gets his pants taken off by James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't supposed to be this long, but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I couldn't help it and I hope you enjoy. (+ inaccuracies of how hypothermia works & ooc dialogue)

  1. _“Here, drink this. You’ll feel better.”_



 

It only takes hypothermic ice water and a cup of hot chocolate to make Aleks register he is, indeed, in _deep trouble_.

 

Well, to be specific, he’s recognized he’s in deep trouble regarding a certain roommate of his by the name of James Wilson, Jr.

 

It was _startling_ when he made this realization, to say the least.

 

It begins the day of their annual _Secret Santa._ The material for the series of videos itself was filmed a few days into the new month of January; Christmas long gone. It was a solid two hours of laughter, gift exchange, and bickering about ugly sweaters. After everything had been given and thanks were made, the group dispersed and decided that they would take the rest of that day off.

 

Aleks had gathered his gifts from Stefani --custom made dog shot glasses and more-- and exited the office with James in tow. James himself, having received his large Punisher shield from Dan, thoroughly nudged the brunet with his gift as they made their way to the car.

 

“Where do you think I can hang this thing up?” James had asked, climbing into the car. “The living room, maybe?”

 

Aleks had buckled his seat belt and pulled out of the office’s parking lot, fingers strumming against the steering wheel happily at the thought of returning home to take a quiet break, “Maybe that wall in your room? The one that your desk is propped up against.”

 

Aleks had slowed, turning onto a side street that was shielded away from most of the Littleton traffic in the afternoons. There was little commercial businesses on this road as it was scattered with wilderness and the occasional home placed on a large plot of land.

 

It had irked Aleks had people still had their holiday decorations up in their lawns, “I wonder how long it’ll be this year until these people take their decorations down?”

 

James had laughed before his attention was pulled from their conversation and directed towards an attraction off to the side of the road. Trees had just been recently torn down from the front to reveal a clearing, allowing drivers by to see into the wooded area.

 

It so happened that the weather had been so cold and constant in its lower temperatures that a small lake in that spot had frozen over solid. Children were gathered and awkwardly fumbled with their friends and parents on the ice. What looked to be professional figure skaters glided across the surface with ease.

 

The older man had smiled, “No fucking way! Aleks look, people are ice skating over there. Since when did that lake get there?”

 

Aleks had turned, a smile pulling at his own lips at the sight of a wobbling toddler, “It must’ve filled up with all that rain we had a few weeks ago.” He had paused, recalling the James mentioning to him how fun it was to skate --granted, horribly-- with Joe at a local rink when they were younger, and raised a brow. “You wouldn’t want to go ice skating later, would you?”

 

James had rolled his eyes at his teasing tone as they passed the lake, “Oh, shut the fuck up. You don’t even know how to skate in the first place, Aleksandr. You can barely walk across ice as it is.” He had joked.

 

Aleks’ face had then turned into one of determination, “I’m not that hopeless. I have experience, I’ve just- forgotten. You can help me remember, _Mr. Professional_. We’ll go right after dinner. There has to be at least two street lights right beside the lake that will give us enough light to get by.”

 

James had scoffed, smiling at teaching Aleks, the _stubborn_ , hardheaded, and impulsive man he is, to skate. He would probably refuse to listen to James’ instructions and, thus, would probably end up falling on his face.

 

The thought had made his lip quirk up in amusement, so he gave in to the brunet’s proposition. If all went well, maybe James would at least be able to record this for some uncharacteristic vlog for his channel.

 

“All right. It’s a deal then.”

 

Aleks had watched with a smirk as James held out his hand and firmly clasped it with his own.

 

* * *

 

A trip to _Dick’s Sporting Goods_ ended with them purchasing two pairs of men’s leather skates, a few pairs of thick socks, and some protective gloves for when -inevitably- Aleks falls onto the ice. The skates took the most time to decide on; due to James’ insistence they needed to be durable and have a decent amount of ankle support.

 

Aleks almost laughed at this before James told him the tales of horrible blisters and bruises some of his friends used to sport after days of playing too much ice hockey with poorly made skates.

 

They were both dressed in thick jackets to combat the cold. Aleks had argued that he be allowed to wear the jeans of his choice, but James contended that his usual black skinny jeans would not be kind on his knees and Aleks was forced to pull on a pair of thicker jeans. James himself was wearing a pair of sweats, something that Aleks rarely saw him wear.

 

Aleks also noted that James was not donning his usual _Creature_ beanie; a plain navy one taking its place.

 

Once they finally arrived at the iced over lake, James gestured for Aleks to take a seat on a nearby bench as he stepped onto the ice to make sure it was solid enough for their weight.

 

“It looks all right. Someone must’ve resurfaced the ice about an hour ago looking at how smooth this is.” James voiced, easily walking off the ice and over to the brunet.

 

Aleks shoved a foot into his skate, looking up as James took a seat beside him to lace up his own skates, “So, how long do you think it’ll take for me to get the hang of this? An hour?”

 

James ignored him, letting out a noise of aggravation at the sight of Aleks’ skates. The man only had one of his skates on and from the looks of it Aleks could tell that he had laced his own up incorrectly.

 

The older man reached over, unlacing Aleks’ shoe quickly organizing the strings in the proper order, “There. Your skates need to be tightened so you can always position your ankles straight up on the ice.”

 

When James finished lacing up his final skate, he stood and walked over to the ice. Aleks tried not to widen his eyes at the sight of James walking so fucking _effortlessly_ with the blades on his feet.

 

James glanced back at him, a teasing smile on his lips, “Well, come on. If you can’t get over to the lake, we might as well give up on teaching you.”

 

Aleks suppressed a swallow in his throat as he stood, wobbling a bit at the startling shift of balance on his own feet. It was awkward to walk on solid ground with the blades, but he made it to the edge of the ice to stand beside James.

 

He heard an eager exhale of breath beside him and in the next moment James placed both feet on the ice. He seemed hesitant for a moment, Aleks observed, but within a few seconds he glided forward in intervals of short distances.

 

James took long, smooth strokes, one foot after the other under he caught a decent amount of speed with the action. He let out a loud laugh and smiled victoriously over to Aleks, who laughed in shock at how natural the man made it appear.

 

“I still got it! Who knew?” James exclaimed, coming to a stop a mere feet in front of Aleks. “I guess it’s muscle memory.”

 

Aleks’ face must’ve been telling at how nervous he felt, for James smiled easily at him and skated forward slowly to meet him, “It’s not as hard as it fucking looks, Aleksandr. C’mon, you look like I grew a second head.”

 

The brunet chewed at the inside of his cheek, attempting to puff out his chest, “I don’t think it’s impossible, it’s just that- how the hell am I supposed to get up when I fall?”

 

Dread pooled in the bottom of Aleks’ stomach at the glimmer of mischief that formed in the older man’s eyes at the question. Why did he think this would be _anywhere_ near to a relatively good idea, again?

 

James reached out to take both of Aleks’ hands in his own, pulling him onto the ice slowly -and _oh shit_ , this will be impossible with how slippery this ice is-, “I’m glad you asked because the first lesson in skating is learning how to...”

 

James led the brunet forwards and away from the edge of the ice, looking him in the eye as let go of Aleks’ tight grip on his hands.

 

“ _Fall._ ”

 

Aleks’ eyes widened in alarm as James glided away and circled him, watching as the brunet attempted to balance himself with his arms.

 

“What the fuck, James? This isn’t- Why do I have to fall?” Aleks hissed.

 

James steadied himself in front of Aleks, “Because you have to learn how to pull yourself back up. Okay, look just- bend your knees. There, now kneel. Now I want you to put one of your skates on the ice and push yourself up on the knee.”

 

It took a few tries, but eventually Aleks could bring himself up from the ground without James’ help. They then actually learned how to move across the ice. James once again stood in front of Aleks, telling him the basics of how to stop and march on the ice.

 

His cheeks and nose bridge were turning a flushed tint from the cold, Aleks noticed. He knew his skin appeared the same, if, no doubt, even more pink. Was James staring at him as much as he was staring at the older right now?

 

With bits of his hair peaking out from under his beanie and chapped lips that he keeps swiping his tongue over and how he keeps smiling as if he remembers he himself learning how to skate.

 

Aleks blinked as he caught James raising a brow at him.

 

“Are you even listening?” James asked, his breath coming out in puffs of warm air.

 

To be honest, Aleks had no idea what James was saying and he’d feel the slightest bit of guilt about it if he wasn’t for how amusing he thought it was to see James grow frustrated with him.

 

“Well, _see_ , you were talking about... How I need to shift my weight on my right foot-”

 

James let out a growl of irritation and startled Aleks as he reached for his hand. Even through the glove, Aleks could feel how warm the other’s hand was and it sent an unexpected shiver up his arm and down his back. He cursed his body’s need for warmth and his brain’s response to the action.

 

“You will lift one foot and then lift the other. Shift your weight and build up speed, then push off with the inside edge of your blade. It’ll come naturally after that.”

 

It was easy to listen, but more difficult to perform the movements. He didn’t remember it being this difficult when he was younger. Aleks felt awkward, and as James said a few days ago, similar to a newborn giraffe. When he glanced over to James, he was watching the younger with an unfamiliar... _attentiveness_ , Aleks saw.

 

“Look, hold onto my arm. You can’t think about it, you have to go with your feet.” James murmured.

 

So Aleks did. He removed his hand from James’ own and gripped onto his forearm instead. James did the same and moved in front of him to pull him along. Aleks then didn’t think about it moving his feet and instead attempted to glide, just as he saw James do what seemed like hours ago.

 

He didn’t notice that James had let go of him until he looked back and saw James skating behind him.

 

“You got it, Aleksandr.” James congratulated, moving to skate beside him. “Maybe now we can have fun.”

 

Aleks grinned, gaining courage as he made a sharp turn and cut off the man beside him. He heard James fumble with his balance at the sudden movement, but laugh and speed to catch up with him.

 

Aleks didn’t even mind the soreness of his feet at that point. Everything was so quiet around them except for the slicing of the ice beneath their blades and he felt lighter than he has in _weeks_.

 

James was somewhere behind him, pulling out a camera to record the two of them skating for a video. It was odd he hadn’t taken it out before to capture some of Aleks’ humiliating lack of skill on the ice; he usually jumped at the opportunity.

 

Aleks’ stomach suddenly grumbled and he glanced at his watch, eyes widening. James was talking to the camera, no doubt explaining the lake and how he had been teaching Aleks.

 

James turned the camera towards Aleks, who was making his way over to the older from across the lake. Aleks could mildly hear what he was saying.

 

His stomach growled again and he smiled at the camera, “I’m starving man. I’ve burned off all of dinner and I need some food.”

 

James laughed, opening his mouth to give him a retort, but ceased his motions as there was a sudden _crack_ from beneath Aleks. It happened so quickly that James had no choice but to drop the camera onto the ice as the sheet under Aleks shattered.

 

“ _Aleks_ , don’t move! You’ll just make it worse. I will come over to help you, don’t worry.” James yelled, hesitantly skating over to the younger who had a look of terror on his features.

 

James was just a few feet from Aleks when the the ice crumbled from beneath him. Aleks looked up at James, who had to watch helplessly as his friend fell into the water.

 

“James-”

 

The older grabbed Aleks’ hands just as the high point of his thighs were fully submerged into the frigid water. James swore at the sight of Aleks’ already shivering and shaking body. Without the hint of hesitance, he pulled Aleks close to his chest in a quick motion and moved them far away from the faulty ice.

 

James ripped off his thick jacket, setting Aleks down on it near the edge of the lake, and quickly unlaced and tore off the brunet’s soaked skates and socks. Aleks still shivered and James was growing even more concerned at the sight of his lidded eyes.

 

James’ body shook with its own worry as Aleks stuttered out butchered statements of confusion, “ _Fuck_ \- It’s too... c- _cold_. Why is it- it so cold? Why are you... l- looking at me- like th- that?”

 

James swore again, tearing off his own skates and hurrying over to the bench where their normal shoes were set. James quickly pulled on his own and grabbed Aleks’ and his bag that was set aside.

 

He never should’ve brought him here alone. It was idiotic and irresponsible.

 

Pulling him up gently, James tucked the younger into his side and helped him to the car where he cranked up the heater and set the man in the backseat.

 

He needed to get him out of his wet jeans, and in _any_ other circumstance James would’ve been completely opposed to undressing Aleks but the brunet is violently trembling, so he leaned over the man so get _approval_ in the action.

 

“Aleks?” He began, gripping the other’s shoulder as if to get his eyes to focus on him, “I need to get you out of these pants. Is that all right with you?”

 

Aleks squinted up at him and James grunted in pain as one of the man’s legs kicked up at him, “Sure. Yeah, I don’t think my b- boxer briefs got wet. I think- I’m all right there.”

 

James nodded, thankful to all deities that spared him in taking off the younger’s _underwear_ as well. He waited for Aleks to undo his belt before helping the brunet kick out of the soaked jeans that seemed stuck to his skin.

 

Aleks, as disoriented and cold as he is, still looked down at James with an involuntary rush of embarrassment that no doubt reached his neck and face. James himself didn’t, outwardly, at least, seem bothered.

 

After his jeans were off his legs, James threw them onto the floorboards and placed his jacket from earlier onto the Aleks’ bare legs. Aleks raised his brows at this, because he was warming up from the car’s heat but James looked freezing without his jacket on in the cold air.

 

So, as Aleks always does, he protested and pushed back the jacket, “No, I’m fucking f- _fine_. Take your jacket, y- you idiot.”

 

Instead of replying to Aleks, James shut the door and climbed into the driver’s seat. He turned to look back at Aleks, who looked over at the man with a stubborn glare.

 

“The drive to the house isn’t that far. You need it more than I do.” James said, placing the car into drive and pulling onto the road.

 

Aleks tossed his head back against the seat with a huff. James has this _strange_ way of troubling himself for the sake of others and every time he places someone else’s well being before his _obvious_ own, Aleks is taken back.

 

“Plus,” James continued and Aleks glanced over to the man as he gazed back at him through the rear view mirror. “You know, I wouldn’t want anyone to see you half-naked in the back of the car.”

 

Aleks threw his gloves at the back of his head with a teeth-clattering smile.

 

* * *

 

Aleks was placed in front of the fireplace when they returned to the house. James had helped him walk into the house, placed him on the couch, retreated upstairs to grab him a pair of sweats, and lit the fireplace.

 

Aleks sat wrapped up in a blanket with Mishka pressed into his leg. James sat on the couch to his right, Googling remedies for falling into frozen water and reading them aloud to the younger. Aleks had almost gotten sick of it until James suddenly disappeared into the kitchen.

 

Aleks shut his eyes at his quiet, but felt something nudge his leg and opened his eyes.

 

James stood beside him, nudge in question being his foot, and held two mugs in his hands.

 

“ _Here, drink this. You’ll feel better_.”

 

Aleks eyed the mug in suspicion, but nodded in gratitude as he looked into the cup to find it filled with hot chocolate and marshmallows. They sipped at their drinks, James slipping Ein a mini marshmallow every once and awhile, and Aleks felt so comfortable that he almost fell asleep sitting up.

 

“What about the camera?” Aleks mumbled distractedly, remembering how James dropped the device at the sight of him plummeting into the water.

 

James hummed and stood, walking over to the entryway of the house where his jacket laid on the floor. He dug through its pockets and pulled out the camera in question. The lens was cracked, Aleks observed with dismay, but James didn’t seem bothered by it.  

 

Aleks stared at him as he took out the camera’s SIM card and placed the broken camera on the couch beside him.

 

“I won’t post this, just so you know.” James said.

 

Aleks was half expecting him to, but didn’t argue, “Sorry about the camera.”

 

James shook his head and laughed softly, “Sorry about letting you almost fucking die from hypothermia.”

 

Aleks rolled his eyes, staring into the fire, “It’ll take a lot more than some cold water to kill me.” He paused, glancing over at him with a smile, “My Russian blood promises you that.”

 

James took a sip of his drink, mumbling with a smile, “Russian blood, my _ass_. You looked close to death to me. You never would’ve let me take off your pants otherwise.”

 

Aleks choked a bit on his hot chocolate, but played off the misstep with a wave of his hand and stood, keeping the blanket around his shoulders as he walked up the stairs to his bedroom, “Well, you know you loved it.”

 

James stood up, watching him retreat upstairs, and Aleks’ breath caught in his throat at the sight of James’ cheeks tinting the same way they did back at the lake. Was that simply from the warmth of the fire or had Aleks...

 

“G’night, Aleksandr. Maybe next week we’ll go to a _safe_ ice rink to record something.”

 

Aleks couldn’t help but sharply inhale as he finally reached the privacy of his bedroom as shut the door behind him. James had only just rescued him from freezing to death at a secluded lake, brought him hot chocolate, and seemed fine regarding Aleks causing his broken camera because it was the camera or _saving_ him from the going underwater.

 

He ran a hand over his face as he fell into bed, staring at the mug of still steaming drink that sat on his bedside table.

  
He knew in the moment that James Wilson would make life painfully _difficult_ in the times to come.


	19. "Can I hold your hand?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow, we're really behind. I'm trying to catch up, bear with me. I hope I'm not writing any of this too non-canon; there's a lot of development in here (internal and external) that is completely my input (i.e. how they handled leaving, how it progressed, Brett being there, and the development of cow chop). The cow chop name development will be canon, though.

  1. _“Can I hold your hand?”_



 

James cannot pinpoint when the communication ends, but he realizes the extent of it when Joe has a camera pointed in his face. He smiles, as he always does, as he stands in the entry room of the office and asks Joe what they’re doing in that day’s _Hub_.

 

Behind the camera, Joe squirms and smiles in a way that has James raising his brows.

 

The shorter man makes a nervous laugh and tells the older that the _Hub_ has been cut to a weekly segment.

 

James blinks at the camera for a moment, a smile still plastered onto his face, and places a hand on his hip as he leans his weight on the tall box in his other hand. Aron walks by and James tries not to seem too exasperated by joking with the man about this undiscussed change being his idea.

 

Aron smiles, shuffles cautiously around him, and announces that he’s going home.

 

James beams falsely back at the camera, eyes flickering to Joe for a moment, and decides that he will not hold back with his frustration in today’s _Hub_. _Why was I not informed of this_ , repeats like a mantra in his head as he goes through the motions of the video.

 

“I mean, if it’s gotta be a good hub,” he says with a scheming smile, taking a breath. “Then the only way to do that is to make it a James Hub.”

 

* * *

 

Weeks pass. Things that James thought to be constant in his life fade away. Friendships don’t break, but fade. They crumble from a lack of communication, arguments with gritted teeth, passive aggressive group meetings, and what feels to be creative suffocation.  

 

They fade in what seems to be pieces. One hour there is laughter and the cameras are pulled out to record the madness of silly string and microwaved disasters, then the next it is quiet as everyone busies themselves at their desk.

 

While driving home one day, Aleks compares the group’s relationship to a _barbecue_ ; composed of small talk and detachment. He states that he’d still have a drink in a backyard with the them, but that’s the range of it.

 

James grows mindful of Aleks’ post on the end of the couch that sits beside his desk. He’s never too far away from the older man anymore. It makes him feel as though they’re allies.

 

Aleks will spend the day fiddling around on his phone, his unused office computer collecting dust, in the spot; occasionally peeking over to James’ monitor to comment on the man’s thumbnail editing or to knock over the rainbow dragon dildo sitting on the surface.

 

When Brett visits, he seems to sense the ridges the most. But his new presence is always refreshing and his loud attitude makes everyone forget about the undrawn lines of tension in the space.

 

Brett stays with them at their house. The guest bedroom downstairs, the living room TV, and their blender -- “ _Brett,_ what kind of _fucked up_ protein shake is _that?”_ \-- is his version of a temporary home during his visits.

 

The man even gathers them all up for movie nights when he learns the appalling number of 90s movies that the men and women have yet to watch. One moment James will never forget is when Aleks opened his mouth to ask a question during a scene in ‘ _Saving Private Ryan_ ’, only to have Brett throw the entire bowl of popcorn at the brunet’s face.

 

When they run out of movies, Brett makes a jest about Aleks and his’ old co-op streams and how they could almost be movies themselves with the amount of positive feedback they receive from them.

 

“I see tweets from people all the time about how they watch them back periodically when they’ve had a shitty day or are sick.” Brett says as they sit on the couch, sipping cold beers.

 

James nods distractedly and tilts the bottle in his grip, watching as the liquid swirls around.

 

Aleks sips from his own drink, “Well, even if we wanted to, we don’t have time for them anymore.” James can sense the hint of vexation in his tone.

 

It doesn’t occur to him in that moment, but when James looks back on it, it’s the exact moment of genesis that ignites it all. It’s a start to a new beginning and new positions for all of them.

 

* * *

 

James knows he is drunk- _okay_ , maybe he’s a little more than drunk. He’s wasted, maybe, from the last few glasses of bourbon he’s had. He likes how warm it makes him feel and he needed to unwind from being stuck at his desk all day.

 

James had planned to kick back with a glass and catch up on some shows on Netflix, and he almost got to that _wonderful_ idea, but something stops him as he walks by Aleks’ bedroom. The door is ajar, but he feels a rush of cold air from the room and furrows his brow.

 

He’s dizzy from the alcohol, but feels light on his feet as he pushes into the room. When he surveys the room to find it absent of Aleks, his eyes find the culprit of the cold air to be the open window in the center of the room.

 

The window leads to a ledge on the roof that looks out onto the backyard. When looking at the house, Aleks had joked about climbing onto the roof like an angsty teenager if he was ever upset, but James never expected him to _actually_ consider it.

 

James peers out the window, zipping up his jacket with a shiver at the chill of the night, and blinks unbelievably at the sight of Aleks seated on the roof. His legs aren’t pulled to his chest, but more so pulled up in a relaxed manner. His jacket’s hood is pulled over his head and he has his eyes closed with earbuds in.

 

The older man makes a huff of amusement at the man and moves back inside to close the window to a small crack... before he hesitates. Sticking his head back out, he gazes up at the brunet.

 

Maybe it’s the ‘living in the moment’ mood he’s in thanks to the alcohol that moves his limbs to climb outside the window and onto the roof. Maybe it’s genuine curiosity why Aleks is on the roof. He’ll never know.

 

Either way, he winds up balancing himself on the roof’s shingles as he walks over to the man. He must’ve been terrible at it, due to Aleks’ immediate reaction of pulling out his earbuds and widening his eyes at the sight of James _traipsing_ across the roof.

 

“James, what the fuck are you doing?” He whispers, coming to a quick stand as James wobbles a few feet away from him.

 

“Joining you on the roof.”

 

Aleks rolls his eyes, but still looks to be alarmed at his friend’s carefree steps, “You’re- _god_ , you’re drunk, aren’t you? When has it ever been a good idea to climb onto the roof while _drunk_ off your ass?”

 

James doesn’t understand why he’s being scolded right now. Aleks was the one who came up here first. He should be the one chiding him, not the other way around.

 

Aleks takes a step forward, but coughs over-dramatically as he catches a whiff of the man’s breath, “ _James_ , what have you been drinking?”

 

The other man giggles and the high-pitched sound is so rare that James clasps a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. James gazes up at Aleks to see that he had taken a second to bask in enjoyment at the sound. It’s only something he does when he’s _this_ drunk and Aleks lets out a laugh at how uncontrollable it is. James hopes that the cold air is a plausible enough cause for his flushing face and neck.

 

James moves to stand beside the man, but the shingle under him loosens unexpectedly and Aleks has to steady him with a grip on his forearm. The touch is warm, even through his jacket, and Aleks looks down at him with a look that screams ‘I was expecting this to happen.’

 

The older man chuckles innocently and takes a stable seat beside the brunet, “Hey, at least I didn’t fall.”

 

“You didn’t fall because _I_ caught you.” Aleks retorts, shaking his head with a smile.

 

“Who was the one that came up here in the first place, again?”

 

Aleks shoves him and James makes a noise of surprise as he slides down the roof a few inches. Aleks grabs him by the sleeve before he can skid any further and sends him a look of teasing exasperation as he pulls him closer.

 

“You’re too fucking drunk to be up here. It’s like taking care of a child.”

 

Aleks almost releases his hold on the man’s jacket until he seems to notice that James’ hands are shaking. Even though James’ body is warm from the bourbon, his hands are another story.

 

So he’s surprised when he’s rubbing his hands together, while also trying to keep himself firmly planted beside Aleks, when suddenly the brunet mumbles something he must think James cannot hear.

 

“You will be too busy with a hangover tomorrow morning to remember any of this, anyway.” Aleks says under his breath, pausing as he shuffles beside him. “This is just to make sure you don’t fall off the roof.”

 

James opens his mouth to question the male beside him, but instead Aleks reaches over to grasp his hands between his own. James stares as Aleks clasps his hands around James’ own closed ones, speechless at the so _un-Aleks_ action.

 

Aleks doesn’t meet his eyes for a few seconds, but when he does he suddenly looks earnest, “What if we did it? _Leave,_ I mean, and do what Brett was saying.”

 

James tilts his head, looking up at the clouds parting in the sky, “Do our own thing, you mean?”

 

Aleks nods, lips pressed together in pondering.

 

James knows Aleks thinks he’s too drunk to comprehend any of this, but he’s had the idea in his mind since that night in the living room. He’s ready to speak to him about it, even if it’s when he’s wasted and on the roof.

 

“Aleks, I will be honest here.” James begins, his voice quiet. “I just want to take care of my friends. I’m all set, where I am financially, I mean. I’ve been just- fucking thinking about it, you know? Packing it all up and asking Joe and Aron to come with us.”

 

Aleks smiles wistfully over at him, “It’d be something, that’s for sure.”

 

Silence fills the air around them. He breathes in and allows it to settle that he isn’t alone in this idea anymore. They could speak with Brett about it and maybe he could convince Trevor to finally come along with them.

 

Aleks stands and offers James a hand, “We need to head back in. It’s late.”

 

James takes the hand gratefully, coming to a stand, “So Aleksandr, is this going to be our ‘serious meeting’ location now? The roof at half past one in the morning?”

 

“ _Can I hold your hand_ so we can get back inside in one piece?”

 

* * *

 

When James wakes with a pounding headache in the morning, he downs two Advil and a bottle of water before heading downstairs. He enters the kitchen to find Aleks at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a plate of breakfast.

 

James walks over, grabs a piece of toast, and raises a brow at the sight of Aleks’ scribbling something onto a napkin with a permanent marker.

 

“What is _that_?” He says, mouth full of toast.

 

Aleks jumps, as if he didn’t hear him enter the room, and glances up, “Just a doodle.”

 

James watches as Aleks makes his way over to the fridge, pinning what seemed to be a poorly drawn _cow_ on the side of the it with a strange _knife_ magnet.


	20. "You can borrow mine."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> or the one inspired by _The Proposal_ shower scene, somehow ???

  1. _“You can borrow mine.”_



 

To Aleks, one of the most therapeutic activities in his daily life was stepping into the shower after a long day. He would switch the hot water on, allow steam to enclose the bathroom, and step in the stream of water.

 

It would flow down his back; relieving any tense muscles in his neck and shoulders. It would warm his feet and send a shiver right up his spine at the comforting sensation. He would stand under that shower head for what seemed to be hours; the water dripping down his face from his hair and over his closed eyes.

 

He would often get carried away with singing songs that were obnoxiously stuck in his head from the radio, but he’d never admit it if he was questioned.

 

* * *

 

It’s Wednesday and even though he’s half-way through the week, he wishes Friday would come along faster. It was a long day, the group had gone to a wild-life sanctuary, for _fuck’s sake_. While it was still in the late winter, it was so sunny out he had been plagued with a sunburn on the tops of his cheeks and his nose bridge.

 

James had teased him about the coloration for the rest of the trip, but had nonetheless pulled him into the gift shop to help the brunet pick out a _ridiculous_ safari hat.

 

So, when he solely entered the driveway, he pulled his sluggish legs out of the car and up to the front door to fish his keys out of his pocket. Ein and Mishka came racing to the door, barking at the chance for attention, and Aleks kneeled tiredly to greet them before making his way upstairs.

 

The house was empty save for himself and the dogs due to the girls being gone for work and James remaining at the office. Both parties weren’t supposed to be home for a few hours and Aleks, loving the quietness echoing through the house, saw it as a prime opportunity to gift himself a nice shower.

 

Katie had even texted him earlier in the day asking if he wanted to have a dinner date later on in the day. The least he could do was make himself look presentable with a shower.

 

As he stepped into his bathroom, he scowled in irritation at the sight of his sunburn. It would no doubt _burn_ when he entered the shower, but it would at least cool the slight sting the skin held.

 

Stripping out of his clothes, he pushed back the shower curtain and climbed into a lukewarm shower. While he loved his therapeutic steaming showers, today called for a cool-off with fresh, sunburn-relieving temperatures.

 

Time seemed to slip away from him as it always did under the stream of water. With an empty house, he found opportunity to belt out a few of his guilty pleasures at the top of his lungs. Though, he quickly noted that his fingertips were growing wrinkles and he that should get to having an actual _shower._

 

He ran shampoo-covered hands through his hair; the smell of peppermint filling the bathroom. Washing his face was his next task, which involved attempting to avoid the sensitive sunburn on his cheeks. Finally, he cleaned off the remnants of the day from his body and switched the shower off.

 

Without the water covering him, he noticed how cold it was in the house and shivered as he pushed back the shower curtain. Pushing his wet hair from his face, he reached for a towel on the wall beside him to wrap around himself...

 

But found it _empty_.

 

He swore and grit his teeth, stepping out of the bathtub.

 

Unbeknownst to Aleks, James entered the house at this moment with earbuds blaring music into his ears. Pausing his motions at the sight of an empty house, he nodded in reminding himself that Aleks had said Katie was coming back to pick him up from work for an early dinner out. Carly was still at work; and would be until about 8.

 

Singing to himself, he made his way upstairs and instinctively shed shirt from it being sticky with sweat from the day of being out in the sun. He would’ve hesitated for anyone else being home, but with silence of the house also came his carefree attitude.

 

James stepped out of his jeans as he entered his room, earbuds still in his ears as he pat Ein on the head and made his way to his own bathroom.

 

On the other side of the house, Aleks held a t-shirt haphazardly below his waist and peaked his head out his bedroom door. Water was still dripping onto the wooden floor below him, but all he cared about at this point was getting a _fucking towel_.

 

Footing his way down the hall, he was too occupied with his predicament to hear the sound of James’ mumbling of song lyrics as he exited his bathroom in his _boxers_ after placing his clothes in his laundry basket.

 

Just as James tugged his earbuds from his ears, both he and Aleks turned the same corner of the hall and _collided_ so violently that both men were pressed against each other out of pure _shock_ for a few beats.

 

James and Aleks could all but blink at each other with wide eyes before letting out shouts in alarm. There was so much _skin_ and Aleks was _wet_ and James had never even _seen_ this much of Aleks’ legs before, much less be pressed against them.

 

“Why are you _naked_ -”

 

“Why are you all _wet_ -”

 

As they both sputtered, Aleks pushed himself back from James’ front and stumbled to continue to hold the t-shirt at his waist. James at least crossed his arms, but had little help with his snug boxers.

 

They both spoke in the same instance.

 

“You’re showing fucking _everything_ , cover up-”

 

“Well, don’t look at me then, _asshole_ -”

 

There was a sharp huffs of air from both men.

 

Aleks finally spoke up, “ _Why_ _the fuck_ are you walking around the house with no clothes on?” He hissed, still avoiding eye contact with the other man.

 

James gawked at him, pointing accusingly at the water dripping onto the floor, “Me? _You’re_ the one prancing _completely naked_ , splashing water everywhere!”

 

In the midst of their embarrassment, both men realized they had never seen the other with so little clothing on.

 

James had seen Aleks leisure braggingly around the house without a shirt on, but he’d seen _none_ of the smooth skin below his waist. It was the palest expanse of skin that he’d seen on the man. Aleks’ eyes seemed to be glued to the dark stretch of hair on the other man’s chest. It occurred to him that he had never seen James without a shirt on and he was suddenly _tongue-tied_  at the sight before him.

 

James was the first to shake himself out of his, _hopefully_ , covert staring and tightened his arms across his chest. He blinked at the _absurd_ imagination of his mind that Aleks’ eyes followed the action with slight interest.

 

The older man swallowed, averting his eyes and moving them to the _fascinating_ wooden floors, “Did you forget to wash your fucking towels, _again_?”

 

Aleks rolled his eyes, but nodded his head, “Listen, I thought... for some reason, I thought that no one would be home. I thought you were still at the office.” He mumbled, reminding James of a child admitting to their erroneous ways.

 

James shrugged, letting out a soft laugh at their situation, “I thought you were out to dinner.”

 

Mishka and Ein had found a place a few feet behind the men, standing cautiously after bounding up the stairs at the sounds of commotion. James glanced over to them, watching as Mishka strolled over to the puddle surrounding Aleks’ feet and cleaned up the mess.

 

Aleks made a face of disapproval, “Mishka, no. That’s fucking gross!”

 

James laughed as Ein joined her, letting out a loud cackle as the corgi lapped at Aleks’ ankle. Aleks pushed her away, grumbling with a smile and coming to a kneel as she licked at his hand.

 

As Aleks was preoccupied with the dogs, James backed way and returned to his bathroom. Pulling on a shirt and a pair of actual pants, he grabbed a handful of towels, some for Aleks and some for the floor, and made his way back into the hallway.

 

“I will say, first, that you are a fucking idiot for not washing your towels like an adult.” James said, watching as Aleks stood from his spot on the ground. “But, I guess, _you can borrow mine_ until you wash your own.”

 

Aleks gave him a smile that, from James’ memory, was one of the most grateful expressions he’d seen on the brunet. James handed him a towel, to which he immediately wrapped around his waist.

 

James eyed the droplets of water that still fell onto the floor from the younger’s hair. Aleks didn’t seem to notice it, but they were still running down the sides of his forehead and his neck. With a sigh, he handed him another towel for the disarray of hair.

 

Aleks beamed again, bending over slightly as he ruffled the towel over his head. When he rose, water flicked up with the motion and amusingly hit James’ face. Aleks laughed and James groaned as he wiped at the specks.

 

When Aleks turned, James felt his throat dry at the sight of _dimples_ on the man’s lower back and the smell of _peppermint_ that still lingered in the air.


	21. "You might like this."

  1. “ _You might like this._ ”



 

Brett brings two familiar men with him to the office that morning. They’re here to work out their final months with the group. James and Aleks shake their hands. Everyone sits down in the meeting room and it’s quiet as the men pull out folders filled with official agreements and contracts.

 

There’s a bitter and nostalgic taste in James’ mouth as he signs his name across the dotted lines of documents.

 

He looks over to Aleks in the chair beside him as he signs his own name and the younger’s words drift in his mind from the previous night in their living room.

 

‘ _Do you remember that one podcast where we joked about being 80 and still working together?’_

 

_James had nodded but had kept his eyes on the television in front of them._

 

_Aleks had sighed and laughed, ‘Well, I guess we won’t be fulfilling that dream.’_

 

_James had glanced over to him with a slight smile, ‘Who says we can’t still be doing co-op in our 80s?’_

 

_Aleks had rolled his eyes, ‘Oh, so we’ll just sit on a fucking couch, just like this one, and play co-op for the rest of our lives, then?’_

 

_The older man had shrugged and smirked, ‘I guess so.’_

 

James blinks when Brett claps a hand on his shoulder with a reassuring smile. Everyone seems to have already left the table as he gazes around the room. Brett states he will go out to lunch with the two men to talk more about how these next few months will work. James nods and lets out a breath to stand and pick up his things at his desk to leave for the day.

 

When he secures his backpack over his shoulder, has his keys and phone pocketed, and is ready to leave the office, he finds Aleks waiting for him at the office’s entrance door.

 

Aleks has his own backpack on his back and his hands in his pockets. James eyes him suspiciously at the strange smile on his face. He’s wearing his _stupid_ tawny jeans and a red and black plaid button-up over his _prideful_ YouTube Gaming logo t-shirt.

 

James takes a step closer to him in teasing hesitance, “What’s the matter with you?”

 

Aleks bounces on the balls of his feet and, _okay,_ James is getting nervous. He raises his brows when Aleks pulls out his phone and holds the screen up to his face.

 

James squints and - _nope,_ he’s not doing _that_ \- all but _dashes_ out of the office and into the building’s corridor. Aleks laughs and quickly walks after him down the stairs with his phone still in hand.

 

“C’mon, it’s Friday and I haven’t been in so long. The last one I went to was Disneyland for a _day_! A day, James.” Aleks pleads, pausing as he jumps to stand in front of James at the front door; disabling him from leaving. “It’ll be fun and we can-”

 

James deadpans, “No.”

 

The older attempts to maneuver around the brunet, but fails as Aleks moves his body into that of an ‘x.’ James groans and crosses his arms, wondering what he did in his previous life to deserve _this_.

 

But Aleks seems persistent in not allowing the other man to leave until he agrees on his little adventure.

 

With no other choice, James sighs in defeat and mumbles, “Fine. We’ll go to your fucking _amusement park_.”

 

Aleks sucks in a breath in victory and moves out of the way so both of the men can walk out into the midday sun. James has to hold back a groan at how giddy Aleks seems, but he can remember the younger telling him how much he enjoyed thrill-seeking activities like amusement parks.

 

James walks to his own car, unlocking it and pointing to Aleks at his own car beside him, “I’ll go, but in no circumstances am I getting on any roller coaster, _period_.”

 

Aleks makes an indecisive noise at the statement and climbs into his car. James sputters and does the same, grip tightening on his steering wheel as he follows the other man home.

 

* * *

 

James gawks at Aleks, “I think the fuck not- What even, absolutely not!”

 

Aleks gazes up at the monster of a roller coaster above them as he takes a bite of his shaved ice, “It doesn’t look that bad. Look at how much you’re strapped in.”

 

James huffs as he looks up at the red and blue track of the ride high above them. Katie and Carly were both getting their faces painted by a group of artists, so the men had gotten themselves some shaved ice and stumbled across the excited screaming accompanied with the ride.

 

Aleks gestures to the sign, “Look, it’s called the ‘Mind Eraser.’”

 

James watches as the current group of riders speed along the track suspended in the air. Their feet dangle below them as they blast through rolls, dives, and even _corkscrews_. He feels sick simply looking at it.

 

Aleks sends him a look through his sunglasses as a family with young children stand in line for the ride, “It’ll be over in a minute, James. You’re completely strapped in. Who knows, _you might like this_.”

 

The older man still looks hesitant as he crosses his arms and squints up at the speeding rollercoaster, but he doesn’t protest as Aleks grabs his t-shirt sleeve and pulls him towards the queue. Minutes tick by and he spends most of them biting the inside of his cheek and trying not to appear as internally anxious as he really is.

 

James is startled when Aleks, who hasn’t uttered a _word_ since they joined the line, pushes up his sunglasses and regards him earnestly, “Okay, I feel like a dick now that I made you do this. You look fucking terrified. If you really don’t want to do this, we can get out of line.”

 

In reply, James shakes his head and decides that if he’s made it this far that there’s no reason to turn back now. He could have objected to Aleks roping him onto the ride, but in the moment he feels _neutral_ about the whole thing now that the brunet has apologized.

 

He brushes off Aleks’ serious expression, “I’m fine. I haven’t been on one of these since I was younger so maybe it’ll be more fun now that I’m older.”

 

Aleks eyes him for a moment, but sighs with a smile and changes the subject to the topic of their new logo design in development.

 

When they reach the boarding area for the ride, Aleks tells the attendant they are a party of 2 and pulls James along as the woman gestures to a row in the middle of the dozens of seats. It happens so quickly that James doesn’t realize that the overhead brace and handles are secured over his chest until the roller coaster jerks to life.

 

Aleks is to his right and smiling as they slowly ascend a sharp incline, “You ready?”

 

James sucks in a breath as they reach the peak of the hill, flashing a smile before the coaster drops into its 60 miles per hour rush. While James still has fear low in his stomach, he can’t stop _laughing_.

 

Both of the men scream in laughter and curses. James feels tears gathering in his eyes from how hard he is laughing and how fast the wind is blowing on his face. The track flips upside down and he glances over at Aleks, who turns his head to look at the other man in the same second, and they both squeeze their eyes shut at the rush of gravity with smiles on their lips.

 

When the ride comes to a stop, James is breathing fast with adrenaline and turns to look at Aleks. He barks out a laugh at the brunet’s hair and watches as Aleks follows his eyes and pats down his ruined hair to no avail.

 

James watches in amusement as the other runs a hand through the mess, “You look like you have a _cow_ lick.”

 

Aleks rolls his eyes at the awful pun but nonetheless offers James a hand as they dizzily climb off the ride.


	22. "It's not heavy. I'm stronger than I look."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, what a surprise: I'm not dead on here. This is the chapter that gave me the worst writer's block and I am glad I finally got through it. Sorry for the wait!

22\. _“It’s not heavy. I’m stronger than I look._ ”

 

Convention season comes around quicker than Aleks would like it to. Convention season equates to busy schedules filled with pre-scheduled uploads, rushed recordings with the group, and the terror that is boarding turbulent airplanes.

 

Although he cannot stop it, he can still procrastinate in his own bubble of an office at home. The time that goes by that should be spent packing and prepping Mishka for her boarding stay is instead spent playing Counter-Strike and watching infinite streams.

 

The upcoming convention trip is a personal one for Joe, James, and himself. A quick flight to San Diego for a weekend filled with testing out games and fan meet-ups sounds like leisure to him.

 

When Friday morning comes around to leave for their fight, along waking up at hardly the break of dawn, he realizes he is incorrect.

 

It might be because he’s fucking _forgotten to pack_ his shit, but hey, he was preoccupied with some _important_ tasks.

 

Everything in the house moves with urgency at this point. James even offers to assist him with packing as he simultaneously sips at an energy drink. They try not to wake up their other housemates as they hurl random items of clothing and toiletries into Aleks’ suitcase for half an hour. Aleks then hastens around the house to check and see if he’s gotten everything as James sits on the brunet’s luggage in an attempt to shut it.

 

Aleks peaks into his office during his final rounds of leaving the house and scolds himself for almost forgetting the sturdy duffle sitting at his desk containing his laptop and other travel necessities.

 

When he slings the bag over his shoulder he feels his arm strain under the weight along with the sleeve of his t-shirt pushing itself up, but he exhales, moves to sling his jacket that sits on his chair over his shoulder, and makes his way downstairs.

 

Brett has been pushing him at the gym and _damnit_ he’s going to at least validate his improvement to himself.

 

James has gathered his own luggage by the front door and eyes the bag on the other man’s shoulder.

 

“You need help with that?” He asks hesitantly, stepping aside as Aleks makes his way out the door.

 

He doesn’t answer him and James wonders why he even bothered to speak the question aloud.

 

James can see the small signs of effort in the younger’s movements. He winces and pauses as he adjusts the bag’s weighted strap on his shoulder. There is a puff of exasperated breath he releases as he opens the car’s trunk that has James shaking his head at how covert he attempted to make it.

 

Aleks turns to walk back inside the house to gather the rest of his luggage and James’ mouth quirks up in amusement at the small knead Aleks gives his shoulder.

 

James snorts, “I offered you help, Aleksandr. Serves you right-”

 

Aleks shoves one of his rolling suitcases at James’ knee and this time its James who clutches his knee to soothe an abuse on his skin.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After dropping Mishka and Ein off at their usual boarding establishment, they drive hastily to pick Joe up and make a beeline to the airport. They’re cut for time and Aleks seemingly thinks he can make it up by endangering their lives on the road.

 

James openly shows his alarm at Aleks’ speeding and swerving on the highway by gripping at the car’s door and pressing his feet anxiously onto the floorboard. In the backseat, Joe holds onto his seat belt’s strap with a queasy look on his face.

 

Aleks doesn’t bother to turn on his blinker as he merges in a lane to the right. James flinches when there’s the hostile sound of a car horn behind them. When he chances a glance at the time, he wills himself not to come _mentally unglued_ when he notes they have less than thirty minutes until their flight. They might just have to sprint through the airport, but at this point James will do anything to get out of the hell that is Aleks’ vehicle.

 

A sign passes over their heads stating the exit to the airport is a few miles ahead.

 

Aleks gives the two men a quick glare at their over exaggerated fear and slows down to take the exit, “Hey, at least I got us here with at least half an hour to spare. I can’t believe I risked damaging my car for this.”

 

James sends him a look of utter disbelief and scoffs, eyes wide, “You risked our _lives_ , I could give two shits less about your car!”

 

Aleks smiles at the statement, pulls into the airport’s parking garage, and pays for a weekend of long-term parking. Joe is the first to climb out of the car to grab their luggage, slinging his own backpack over his shoulder and hurrying to pull his suitcase out. James and Aleks spend a moment still in the car checking to make sure their boarding passes were sent to their emails. Once everything is confirmed and Aleks has thrown a set of ibuprofen down his throat with a gulp of water for his developing headache, they pull their own luggage out from the back of the car.

 

Aleks has no strain this time as he shoulders his duffle due to the jacket on his shoulders and easily pulls out his small suitcase. He turns to see that Joe has already made his way over to the elevator to take them to the main airport building.

 

He faces James again, “We need to hurry the fuck up, man.” He pauses as he watches James struggle to pull out his backpack and steps forward to help, “Here, let me get it.”

 

James grunts in persistence in a way that translates he has the bag, but doesn’t fight the brunet as he grabs the same handle and tugs it out of the car. Aleks watches as James adjusts his backpack on his shoulders with a wince. Why he overloaded his backpack with shit despite having a bad back was beyond his understanding.

 

Aleks gives him a deadpan look as their eyes meet and sighs, “Give me your backpack.”

 

The older man makes a noise of protest and hardens his facial expression, “I got it.” He turns to roll his suitcase over to the elevator where Joe stands, but Aleks grabs the backpack’s strap to pull the man back.

 

James chokes out a curse and glares irritably back over his shoulder, “What the fuck, Aleks? We need to get to pre-check, let go.”

 

Aleks persists with his hold and gestures to his own suitcase, “Just take my suitcase and I’ll take your backpack.”

 

They outface each other for a handful of seconds before James groans, glancing up at the ceiling and clenching his jaw before he shrugs off his backpack. Handing it over to Aleks, he watches as he seems to carry it on his shoulder with ease.

 

Aleks doesn’t smirk or give one of his toothy grins out of spite and instead assures the older man with a small smile, “ _It’s not heavy. I’m stronger than I look_ , you know.”

 

James knows it would be out of the ordinary to say thank you - and he didn’t ask for his help, he could fully carry that backpack in a sprint down their terminal, so _fuck that_ \- so instead he gives him the next best thing.

 

“Is this your way of apologizing for almost killing us on the road?” He jokes, earning a lighthearted roll of eyes.

 

Joe shouts at them from across the garage as the elevator door opens and the two men jog over to the elevator before it closes. When they board their plane, Aleks finds them an empty row of seats and James spends the next two hours trying to avoid a picture of him being posted on social media by no other than Aleks himself.


	23. "I'll wait."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delayed update guys, I don't really have any excuses other than school, which is usual. hope you enjoy this little cow chop!house scene.

  1. “ _I’ll wait_.”



 

James and Aleks commentate in group videos without error. Externally, James laughs and scolds for his quota. Externally, Aleks performs bits for the camera and hauls Aron over his shoulder and into a pile of teddy bears.

 

During filming, in these moments of pretending they haven’t secretly signed contracts and are planning to stretch their legs away from the group, they catch each other’s eyes; catch each other’s glances between the howls of laughter and the yelling and the bright screens. Their chests will eventually deflate, their smiles fading, and tight expressions will form on their faces.

 

They never truly allow these heavy eyes and clenched hands in their laps to reach the camera’s lens. No one would know how James runs over the probability of this _whole_ thing  _flopping_ every time he is behind closed doors and how Aleks overloads his schedule to completely avoid having a moment to himself.

 

Their first video on the _Cow Chop_ channel itself, ironically titled ‘FIRST VIDEO’, was filmed in a matter of a few days in multiple locations. They both agreed the introduction video for the channel should translate to an homage to the duo-streams the audience seemed to love.

 

At first, Aleks questioned why James kept a box of their castoff stream memorabilia, but went with it when James threateningly pulled out a rather large bottle of balsamic vinaigrette to be used for the video from his backpack.

 

The cowhide-patterned couch had arrived at the beginning of that week and James had made a point of stating how much it cost him _every single time_ one of them even so much as breathed on it.

 

Lounging on it with a smug James in the middle of a sunset casted, empty field was becoming a norm.

 

They decide the remaining weeks spent in the office will comprise recording videos in a small, cattle-patterned space with the help of Trevor, Joe, and Aron. It’s cramped and a little strange to be filming for the new channel while remaining in the office, but it’s what they have to work with for the time being.

 

So, with nothing else to do but produce entertaining content and plant Trevor into hilarious virtual reality porn, they both cross their fingers it will all pay off.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The upload schedule the they had crafted some time ago was made so they would record a few videos a day in bulk in order for them to have somewhat of a break during the workweek. Series were born and coined as a staple for the channel due to the freedom they held with uploading. Back in his early days, you could not have told James he would participate in a series where he ordered Aleks a circumcision tutorial to test out on camera.

 

Nonetheless, their series were few and were to remain that way until they moved out of the office and into their own space. Due to the requirement of both James and Aleks being present for Cow Chop videos, they see an opportunity to catch a ride with each other on the drive to and from the office. They take turns with Aleks often groaning about being forced to ride in James’ car as to the lesser alternative of his cherished _Camaro_.

 

A week goes by in their compact filming space with the pre-recording of videos for a soon planned move. The amount being charged of them for renting out their corner of the office was too costly, along with the noise problem on their part. Moving was just another inevitable step they had expected from the beginning.

 

Brett was in the middle of negotiating a lease on a moderately sized, two-storey house in a neighborhood across town. All that remained was for James and Aleks to approve of the location that day and for them to sign the required papers.

 

“How are we going to get the couch out of that room?” Aleks jokes, taking a turn into the neighborhood street his GPS orders him down.

 

James glances at him, emphasizing his words with synchronized nods of his head, “Very, _very_ , carefully.” He pauses and sighs at the hassle of ordering a custom made cow couch from the designer as they pull onto the house’s street. “It took three months for us to get that fucking thing made.”

 

The house comes into view and Aleks sees James lean forward in his seat out of the corner of his eye. It’s a fairly plain house, red paint with white shutters and a matching garage. Aleks’ eyebrow quirks up slightly at the sight of a white iron gate decorating the front door, but James only grins.

 

“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.”

 

Aleks parks in the driveway and pulls his keys from the ignition, “Well, we haven’t seen the inside yet. What if it smells like cat litter like that one Brett showed us last week?”

 

James shrugs, opening the door to get a better look at the house. Aleks follows suit and shuts his car door behind him. Walking up to the front porch, James lifts a potted plant and retrieves the spare key the landlord had told them of.

 

Aleks gestures for him to go inside with a sweep of his hand and James rolls his eyes. When he first enters, it smells a little musty, but it’s nothing that a decent can of Febreze and a scented plug-in can’t handle. They make their way through the empty house, starting in an open dining area, going upstairs, and finally ending their tour in the open kitchen area.

 

Aleks gives the appearance he’s about to make some type of joke --probably about burning the house down or getting kicked out of the neighborhood from noise disturbances, James guesses-- and familiar images fly by in James’ mind. Back in their early years, in that old house where the recording set up was in a room too similar to this one, Aleks used to make fun of him for not being dressed past noon. He would give him that _same_ look, his lips curling and his eyes widening in anticipation of his oh-so-funny statement, before he mouthed off about how James must believe none any of them were of importance from his poor state. James’ stomach twists in nostalgia at the memory.

 

And here they were, back here in a house after parting ways with so many people, still trying to create the same shitty, comedic gaming videos.

 

“Do you think it’s possible we fuck this place up so bad we get kicked out? Didn’t Brett say the landlord was all right with our setup?” Aleks asks.

 

James dismisses the question with a smile and turns to glance out onto the backyard through the sliding glass door, “The question is, Aleksandr, how _long_ do you think it’ll take for us to get kicked out?”

 

In that moment, Aleks senses something growing between them as if there were troublesome weeds sprouting somewhere under his skin. In a few seconds, in a breath after the question left James’ mouth, in that moment before he can stop it from forming in his mind, right then, despite his impatience, he decides maybe he’ll try his _all_ to make everything work out for this.

 

“I guess, _I’ll wait_ with you to see.” Aleks resolves on, despite many other words forming in his head.

 

James turns, tilting his head with an unsure smile on his lips.

 

The nights where they saw one another in their shared home, wandering around after hours of recording or, _most likely_ , pondering about the future, Aleks would yawn, rub a palm over his eyes, and blink open his eyes see how truly desolate James appeared. He’d put on a strong face, in front of Aleks and everyone else, of course, but there were instants where said guards would fall.

 

In every one of these encounters, James would appear unsure after a few seconds of Aleks noticing the shift, but frequently he would disregard the moment with the crack of a joke.

 

This time it’s different.

 

“Well, you know how much I fucking hate waiting,” James says, tucking his hands into his pockets and watching as Aleks mirrors him. “But if I’m going to do it, I guess it’s more... _tolerable_ if it’s with you. Yeah?”

 

And, well _shit_ , Aleks feels a little seasick as James walks past him with a soft clap on his shoulder; forced to keep his eyes on the road on their way home to avoid the churning feeling in his abdomen. 


	24. "Just because."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little heartwarming chapter of dialogue from James. this chapter was going to be something else, a certain brownie-filled video, but I'm going to do that one for chapter twenty-six. I changed it because of this awesome [ edit I saw on tumblr by ragecutie](https://ragecutie.tumblr.com/post/165910483627/why-did-i-used-the-saddest-audio-in-existence-for) (I'm warning you, she used the music from 'Up').

24.  _"Just because."_

 

They take three days to fully move out of the office and into the house. Two days to transport everything over to the new space and a day to get everything sorted; as sorted as it _could_ be with their organizational skills.

 

Upon moving into the house, Brett goes back to California and promises to visit every now and then to check up on them. James and Aleks’ home will feel a little more empty without Brett in the downstairs guestroom, vegetarian pizza and sincere conversations over beers will vanish undoubtedly, but they’ll cope.

 

Having a live stream to answer the thousands of questions coming at them from all sides seems to be a good idea. Trevor, all freshly buzz-cut hair and awkward movements, helps them set up the cameras in front of the couch. James and Aleks make bets on how many people will arrive to watch and what tricky questions they’ll ask.

 

The stream attendance count reaches up to at least twenty-one thousand. Aleks is a picture of ease, leaning back against the couch with a Mountain Dew between his legs as he answers questions honestly. James laughs and jokes with the chat to make everything seem less serious, but the mood in the room strikes him as a strange mix of relaxation and grinding of teeth.

 

“I feel like _this_ is still the big picture with this channel, at least for me. Granted, I hit three million subs and stuff like that, but,” James pauses and reaches up to tug at the curling hairs on the nape of his neck, a nervous habit.

 

Aleks turns to glance at the chat and he can’t help but tighten his fist that sits off screen. He brushes his fingers over his lips, because _what_ he can’t control his hands, and pokes his tongue against his cheek. He can see James’ mouth turn down in earnestness out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Honestly, for me, to put it simply and as real as I can be, I’ve done most of what I set out to achieve on my own I’ve accomplished, I guess you could say, and my _only_ goal now, _realistically_ and _legitimately_ , is to make sure my friends are taken care of.”

 

Joe, smiling and oblivious Joe who loves motorcycles and Star Wars and wore a chicken head for the first couple months he worked with him, has a solid job because of him. James dragged him out to Colorado with the promise of a job and, as much as James will _never_ admit it aloud, it’s gives him a warm nostalgia having the shorter man around him day by day.

 

Aron, sarcastic and Dum-Dum-loving Aron, left with them. James knows its due to his close friendship with Aleks, but he still deserves _something_ for packing up everything and leaving with them into the unknown that is Cow Chop. Trevor, barely _legal_ Trevor who still fumbles around and grows camera-shy and has great editing potential.

 

James smiles and continues, “I don’t really need anything else, in terms of my own stuff-”

 

“Am I your friend?” Aleks interrupts him, nonchalantly picking non-existent lint off his t-shirt.

 

James takes a breath and looks over to him. _Of course you’re my friend, you fucking idiot_ , he wants to say. _You’re one reason I did this risky shit in the first place_ , but he will never say.

 

It’s amusing that Aleks isn’t looking him in the eye, he thinks.

 

“You actually, you _Aleksandr_ , walk a very tight rope. And sometimes I want to push you one way and sometimes I want to push you the other way.” James says and if that isn’t the one sentence that describes their relationship, pushing each other back and forth on some _weird_ plane of degreeing levels of friendship, then he doesn’t know what is.

 

Aleks continues to pick lint off his shirt and he has to push back a smile that sits on his lips, “That’s kind of fucked up. Why do you even keep me around, then?”

 

James knows they sound like some old married couple, interrupting each other, but he doesn’t care, “ _Just because_. Like, if you were to ask me to buy you dinner, I’d be like- _go fuck yourself_.”

 

Aleks gapes at him, finally turning as he picks off the last piece of ‘lint’ off his shirt, “Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? We switch dinner-pays every time we go out-”

 

James holds his finger up and smiles, “But sometimes I don’t want to pay for that one. Sometimes I don’t want to. Sometimes I forget my wallet-”

 

Aleks stares at him, blinking as he says in an accusatory voice, “I fucking knew it. You always made it seem like it was my turn to pay.”

 

James’ eyes meet the camera and Aleks looks away, picturing all the nights he paid for the asshole next to him’s dinner, “Listen, _Aleksandr_ , if it’s a day you come in three hours late, I will not pay for your dinner.”

 

He points upstairs to where the rest of their group sits in their editing room and then gestures back to Aleks, “So he walks a tight, tight rope in that aspect, but I’m  talking about Trevor, Aron, and Joe up there who are busting their asses editing right now.”

 

“You know they’re probably sitting up there watching us right now, right?” Aleks says.

 

James tries to defend them, stating that _hopefully_ they’re not watching them and editing, but Aleks shakes his head and smiles, “You know damn well they’re watching us.”

 

James sputters, gesturing to his chest and then to the camera, “Well, I hope they know I’m publicly stating I care less about myself and _more_ about them, so if they’re up there dicking around I hope they feel like shit.”

 

“It’s all right, I guess. It’s whatever.” Aleks says, folding his hands as he reads the chat.

 

What the brunet doesn’t expect comes out of James’ mouth next.

 

“If I would’ve kept on track with where I was with before the Creature stuff I guess, you know, how I was like neck-and-neck with fucking Felix. That’s always a what if.” James admits and this causes Aleks to turn to look at him, “But, I don’t need anymore than what I have-”

 

Aleks can’t really imagine the thought, of James going down that path and never meeting him, so he says, “Listen man, if you blew up, you would have never-”

 

James closes his eyes, smiling, “I play- It’s on my eyelids when I close my eyes every night, what I could have been if I had just stayed neck-and-neck with Felix and I never would’ve fucking met you, _ever_.”

 

Okay, and _ouch_ , the thought stings both of them but they don’t show it.

 

Aleks nods, “Me too, man. ‘Cause I’m always like- I was supposed to-"

 

James rubs his hands together, grinning and putting on a show as he thinks of the YouTube revenue he’d be swimming in, “I’d be drowning in it. I’d have a pool of money, right now.”

 

Aleks puts on a serious expression, his straight line of a mouth almost cracking with a smile, “I was, I was next to him too.”

  
James tilts his head and laughs as he remembers the exchange the two of them had all those years ago with him lying about his time zone, “Where? In his email box asking him to _co-lab_?”


End file.
